humourMOB/kitchen island,screen test.

1*!@#$%^&*SCREEN TESTS
ONCE upon a time screen tests were done @ a media house to vet your performance on screen or sooooooooooooooooooo.
but now……………………………………

…………………………kuna screen tests kwa mtaa.mitaani.

U TENANT re-loaded .agent wa mtaa aka professional estate manager asema kuna screen test/vetting kabla ya kuhama.wana recruit tenants
1.we ni nani??????????????nyinyi ni kina nani?????
2.what do you do???????????what do the kids do????
3.land lord wako wa mwisho alikuwa nani?????????why did you leave your last abode??????????????????
what is your blood type(in case of an emergency)?
what are your hobbies???????
DO YOU KEEP PETS???????????????????????dogs,cats??????like animal husbandry????????chicken???????????bees?????????fish???????
DO THEY SEE VETS???????????????????????
are they circumcised??????????????????????????
i want a list of all your habits and routines and a health report of you and the animals
hebu tuone meno yako na miguu yako.
i want a copy of your wealth declaration report?? pay slips ????????? documents? your photo na photocopy za watoto
4.sign an agreement; we will perform a background check on you to verify all the details……………
kama unafanya kwa bla bla bla  tunataka reference toka kwa FBI agent na picha taslimu na kadhalika………………………….
WELCOME ON BOARD.TO THIS NEW PLAZA BUILDING/apartment hot hot !
IT’S A DIFFERENT WORLD.

una vettiwa ndiposa unaingia kwa nyumba yako rented!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.KISEWER CHA MIGINGO
kisiwa cha what ever??????????????????
you know kisiwa cha migingo, victoria island,the island of man (isle) isla{nd}fisher fisher of man…………………….solomon islands…………….
so you’ve travelled to some islands in lamu and loved the themes……………..and now the islands are nearer to thee than the sea……..?????????????? they’re in your face and in your house

a new or pseudo-new latest thing in home building is………………………………………..THE KITCHEN island.

you may want it L-shape,U-shape (a u-turn is out the road and in your kitchen)so utafanya u-turn kwa roady na kwa jikoni ??????????????stylish. bila kusahau counter top and added counter space???????????????????? for counting money/or for the money counter???????????? is it going to be a bank?????????????????or a lobby???????????????????
the home owner has to consider costs like bringing electricity and plumbing to the island.i wonder how and why an island needs plumbing yet it’s s’posed to be around-ed by water???????????????????????????
there’s also the free standing island????????????????????????? . yeah not out @ sea but standing on land!and in your kitchen!
and they do have disadvantages too. like they say its immobile????????????????????????? like yes all islands on earth lack mobility. only water moves about an island????????????????????????? and fish??????? going fishing for sport???????????????
they aren’t moving.they are on a round trip and they travel in circles circling the water circling the island and they also go to school.A SCHOOL OF FISH.another disadvantage is that the island takes up a lot of floor space.so do you need a floor manager for the kitchen??????????? to manage the island????????????????????????????so where will cooking be????????in the fire dep’t of the house???????????????
na mpishi ni fire-man??????????????????????????

dunia CA-RAZY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,CA-RAZIER,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,CA-RAZY-EST!

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