HUMOURITA/TALK!!!!!!

SI HAKUNA GA KITU TAMU KAMA TO FINISH HII MONTH NA SOME VIEWS FROM THE U.S OF A.

SI HAWA AMERICANS WANANI JAZZ??????

COZ UKWELI NI KWAMBA EVERYMAN KOKOTE DUNIANI ANATAKANGA KU PENDEZA KO THA AMERICAN ENTERTAINMENT MARKET.

AND IN MA SMALL WAY………..ALREADY NINA WATEJA WANGU WA KI AMERICA AND AM PROUD OF THEM KAMA NINI????????????????????????????

RIGHT NOW WALICHEKI HUMOURMOB /DAMU.ILINI WOW INGI WHEN MOJA WAO ALICHECK HUMOURMOB/POLICE POST AKAULIZA KAMA KUNA SHIDA

ALI THINK MAYBE KUNA OUTBREAK YA MENO HUDHURUNGI!

NIKAMWAMBIA NI MAMBO NA RECRUITMENT TU NA PANGANGA \HAKUNA MATATA

TATA NA MA TRUCK ZAO WAKO INDIA

NA MA AMBANI ZAO WA WILI

SO KAMA GEORGE OMONDI ANA RANT NA KU RAVE KWA DAILY NATION YA JANA ETI KENY A HAMNA INTERNAZIONALE COMEDIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAYA BASI HAJANITAMBUA

BUT HE WILL IN DUE SEASON IN DUE TIME.COZ TIMES NA SEASONS ZIKO MIKONONI MWA GOD.

AND HIZ TIMING NDIO MASAAA

MASAA SIO ZA NGILU

NA HUYU  JAMAA HAPA NI FELIPE MASAA

wooooooooooooooooooo bwana massa felipemasaa

AU UKIPENDA NI FELIPE MASSAan ode tu massa suramassa massaku racerguy familiamasaa

A HAPPY FEB….RUARY………………………………………………………………………………………..

TUTAENDELEA NA HUMOUR MINGI SANA NA KITU KAMA THA REAL WITCHWIVES OF KARIOBANGI NA MENGINEO

CONTINUA……………………………………………………………………………..

HII LEO

AND A VERY HAPPY MONDAY NO MONDAY BLUES………………………………………………………

JUZ HOPING TO FOLLOW IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF THIIZ MKENYAOSCAR PRIDENAZO LOVE L.A. SPICEGAL MKENYAPOA LOVELYGAL

TOKA KENYA HADI L.A. MJI WA ANGELS

A HAPPY MON-DAY FILLED WITH LOTS OF AMERI-VIEWS AND AM PROUD  TO BE ASSOCIATED  NA VIEWERS WA US OF A.

THEREBY GEUZA RING THIZ HUMOURMOB TO BE AN INTERNATIONAL .

THA EAGLE OUTDOOR…………………………………………………………………………………..

HUMOURMOB/enrich

METH

AS IN METHALI SIO crystal meth

#.usipoziba ufa????????????????????????

jibu silly usipoziba ufa si utanunua woofer ingine tu na sub-woofer ingine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woofers

subs woof woof

haya basi tuendelee na tugange the following

usijisemee tunaziangusha

a mtangazaji alikuwa anauliza kitu kama asking eti njia za kuondoa poverty in kenya eti um-tweet  um anything

of coz n’ta bloh bloh blah blah

#1.kuomba BABA wizdom keys kaa king solo mon-arch  then BABA ana add wealth na so much more on top ov that.

#2.kanyari ku convince bill gates kuingia kwa church yake /au ni church business yake?????????? na aachane na ma poor con-niving wakenya???????????chaka sana

#3.kuolewa na mr prezzo????????????????????????????????

@4.kuiba kwa world bank

#5.kuandika ghosts/ghost workers kwa payslip ya lionel messi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

au barca yote as a whole?????????????????

6.kuanza equity bank yako?????????????????????

7.ku swim in money??????????????????????????????????

8.kuridhi shamba ya maua ya psy toti/yeah.saitoti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

9.wajaca kupelekwa (terry-wa) na billy gate,na carlo slim????????????????

10.mkenya hustler kuoa haraka lupita na deal yote ya lancome???????????????????

11.kuiba kwa museum za ma pharaoh zina ma dhahabu tumbi nzima!!!!!!!

hiyo sio weezy ni egyptology!

12.ku accuse celeb tajiri sana……. kunao huku kweli?????????????

vile kila mtu ame accuse mzee BILL-S BILL COSBY ACCUSATE cosby hadi sasa wanataka aunde fund/foundation ya ku-fund  ma accusers wake style ya FUND-A MENTALISM ya the free world

BILLO KERO BWANA MA LANGO BILL HA

13.grabber wa ma schools waende wa grab mineral rich land huko congo na ma oil fields  na wells uko naija kwani una grab shule we ni sossion?????????????????

WATAKA KUZI PELEKA KI-GOMA????????????????????????

unaenda wapi na shule???????????????????? na umemalizza shule????????????????

we ni m nati /knut???????? nutty?????

una grab shule uta funza milele???????????

au aligrab school for home schooling hiz kiDs?????????????????????????

waende wa-ka grab vilabu vya mpira spain na uingereza!

big grubs they are!

14.ku siphon assets toka kwa de la rue

15.ku plant mint plants ili  to mint nayo dough!

is it exhaustive?????????????????NYENYENYE labradodor

hapohapo

unajua okra?????????????????????????ok cy ten oke okra

only in america activator owner oprah

na huyu pia ni oprah

unajua wana nini in common?????????????????????????????????

HUMOURMOB/MR TEMBO

HAYA BASI JUZ IMAGINE ULE HEADY WA TIDY HIGH ALI ……………

FFUNZA RUDISHA ONDIJO

…………ETI ALIKUWA ANA TRY KU SCARE MOJA YA HAO VICHWA NGUMU WA TIDY HIGH AND THEM ….

………………………………………..NO……….. AND THEN MOJA YAO AKAMWAMBIA

USINILETEE TICHAR COMICA OLE FUNZI TIDYHAI MALIMWENGU NYOKO NYENYENYE

NYE NYE NYE………………………………………………………………………………..

WEEEEEEEEE ……

USINILETEE AMA NTAKUITIA POACHERS WEWE

SORORITY BOYZ PICCHAZ NINAWACHEKI MRTEMBO

humourmob/DAMU

HII HAPA NI BENKI

BANKA TYRA BANK BENKI KUU

SUPPORTER OKOA MAISHA DROP UTOAJIDAMU BANKIKUUDAMU

AU UKIPENDA BENKI KUU YA DAMU AKA YA WANADAMU

THA BLOODSTREAM NI THE BLOODSTREAM BLOODSTREAM HII BODY YA -SHOW THA BLOOD STREAM………………………………….

NA HII HAPA NI MKURUGENZI WA HIO BLOODBANK

NI MNYAKUZZI AU BLOOD GRABBER

A.K.A. BWANA VAMPIRE GHOULISH GOLLYGOSH MY GOSH

NA HII KENYA IKIENDELEA HIVI……………………………………………………..

GRAB.GRUB.GRAAAAAAB,,,,,,,GRAB,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

LAND

MONEY NA MALI KAA ULE PASTOR ALIUA FAMILIA YA BWANA LAWYER ALL MATANO OF THEM

ALIWA GRAB WOTE NA MALI YAO TO THE UNDERWORLD

UZURI HAPO NI KWAMBA GOD’S ANGELS COME PAP IN THE NICK OF TIME KU TAKE WATOTO TO ETERNAL PEACE NA REST NA JOY………………………………………………………………

KWA MAMA NI UCHUNGU COZ SHE PERISHED FOR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

KWA BWANA LAWYER ATAKUTA HUKO SIDE B THE LAW IS NOT AN ASS???????????????????????????

ENOUGH NA HII FAMILIA ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!

HII KENYA IKI-CONTINUE NA U GRAB-IOSIS HIVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII………………………………..

WATAANZA KU GRAB DAMU TOKA KWA BENKI KUU YA WANA DAMU

SI WENGINE WATATAKA HATA KU-OGA NAYO KATIKA STYLE YA BLOOD-BATH

GORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SI WENGINE KAMA DADA MARY HAPA SI WATATAKA WAWE TU NAYO MINGI KAMA STOCK   (LIQUIDATION OF ASSETS)  SAMBAMBA KUSEMA KWELI MAMBO MSETO

STYLE YENYE ATAITWA BLOODY MARY

HABARI NDO HIYO MATUSI DRINK MARYONOMY

ZINGINE ATA MAKE NAYO COCK-TAIL????????MOCK TAIL??????????????

UPENDO

MARINA

MARYNGUE

BLOODY MARY

MOCK TAIL IN SWA NI MKIA NYAKEMINCHA AU KINYWAJI CHA MOCK EXAM?????????????NYAKEMINCHA?????????????????????????????????????????????

MIXOLOGIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NI BLOODY MARY HAPO FOR YOU

OF COZ MI WASINILETEE COZ NITAANZA KU LEA VAMPIRE BAT KWA SMART FARM WA KU DEAL NA HAO VILIVYO

WALAHI ALAAAAAAAAA DONT USEE????? USTAKEONA BATIAN

THE BLOOD AND THE GLORY IS HERE

THE PASSION YA JESU FOREVER JESU BWANAJESU INSURANCE YA YESU YESUFINISHED MWILINIMKATE MWILIMKATE HAMNA............ DAMU YA JESU KI BWANA DE JESUS

JI-OKOE

humourmob/germs

YOGA YOGARYHTHMS

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

unasikia nga kwa ma advert za sabuni

ooooooooooo eti hii ni dettol handwash ya ku remove 99 per cent ya bacteria

haya basi hapa pia ni protex tamu kama asali eti with honey na beeswax?????????????????

protex honey kwani ni ya kuosha asali???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo      eti ni ya …………….

ya kuondoa back teria kwa mgongo

backtoons mgongoni ki-back-hii

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa eti hii hapa  hapa ni sabuni ya nguvu ina strip bacteria asili mia moja………………………….

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MI NA WONDER

hi uharibifu mwingi wa bacteria

si wangeachana nazo ili wakati kuna GLUT ya MILK

then kila mtu anajitokeza na wanatengeneza YOGART/YOGHURT KWA KAULI MOJA

si yoghurt ina undwa na bacteria??????????????????????????????????????????????

cheki vile yogurt iko cool

YOGOYOGO UYOGA BACTERIANAYOGAT UCHAFUYOGA BULLA

JUST IMAGINE NI COZ OF bacteria……………………

haya mbona basi madaktari eti………………. ma dumb-atologists/dermatologists

wana recommend watu ku use hizi medicated soaps?????????????????????????????????

eti ku ondoa bacteria yote!

ACHENI BACTERIA IUNDE YOGHURT MUSI ZI STRIP NA SOAPS

OSHA GERMS BACTERIA

OPERATION TU-CONSERVE BACTERIA

sugua gongo sugu backreia

BE-COZ THIZADA ADA CHAK

+  THIZ

DISEASE SALMONELLA OLWENDA PIGANIA FOOD YUCKY MAGONJWA

=  IZ EQUAL TO THIZ

BOWLAYOGURT QYUMMY TWISTA YOGINDA SWAG

HII HAPA NI CHAKCHAK-ACHA CHUCK NORRIS CHAK NORRIS

CHAK NORRIS.YES.THA GLASS OF MILK INA JINA.NI CHAK NORRIS

KAZI NI KAZI BWANA NORRIS

AND THE MILK-MAN APPROVES!

AND ANAANGUSHA MA JOKES HAPA KWA HUMOURMOB

VITUNGUU JOKE KURUKA BELL BOY CARTOONORRIS AENDE RUSSIA CHUCK JOKER MUTEMBEI KILLJOY NORRISTER MAKUBALIANO CHAK-ACHA

HAPA HATUKU-GET MILK-I ZA KI- ARABU

HUMOURMOB/BOXA

ETI KUNA JAMAA WA KU BOX WA ugander/uganda anaitwa GO LOLA

eti ali-boxiwa hadi akapata DISLOCATION YA SHOULDER.

DIS LOCATION TU YA BEGGAR/BEGA.

HALELU??????????/

YEAH.

ALIPATA TU A MERE DIS-LOCATION YA SHOULDER

NA NI KILIO ………………..

hii ni last year……………

so mi nasema??????????????????????????????????????

SI ASHUKURU SANA SANA COZ ALI GET ONLY THAT???????????????????????????????

Kwani alikuwa akitaka SUB DIVISION YA MA KWAPA???????????????????????????????????????

U ALITARAJI KUPATA DIVISION YA MIGUU?????????????????????

MA SIRI JAIPUR LEG SAVED CRIPPLING ULEMAVU

AMA WORSE………………………………….SUB LOCATION YA SURAA?????????????????????????????????????????MATOPEGUY MAYIE MA HURT ARI SURABAYA

ANA FAA TU AEKE ILE WIMBO YA PHARELL NA AACHE KULIA TO THE RIGHT SIDE
KUSINI TAKE SIDES

HIVI NDIO KUACHA KULIA TO THE RIGHT SIDE

PREZOLIA OBAMATEARS CRYBABY LIASANA KULIA

humourmob/jokes na kadhalicker

BANNERTATU BANA NANE

KUNA WATU  wareeeeeeeeefu ka wale tha tallest MAN in tha world…………as in mbona hafiki binguni?????????????????????????

mbona hapigi skies duster??????si anawaitingi tu jua ikaushe sky after mvua ka everyman????????kila mtu????????????

mbona haonagi izi ma planes za ki asia ziki kosa kukaa RADA-r??????????????????????

acha tuchongoe tha tall men

nyi kwenu ni warefu kwani nyi nyi ni REFE-GEES???????????????????????????

THE TALL THE TALL AND THE TALL

THE END MAOLOI TIP TIP TALLIGRAPHY WAKONDA TALLANTA MANUTE BALL LONGEVITY TALLIONDO TALLESTA LAKKERS REFUCAR REFUGEE

OMG

KWANI NI WA TALLAHASSEE?????????????????????????????????????????????

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

huyu msee ako na warts mingi kwani ye ni WARTHOG?????????????????????????????????????????????

warthology tibabu uponyaji ugliest manamba makucha ugonjwa wartsilatimon na pumbaa mbeche ugly

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ugly

and very UGLYVIOUS TO KILA KITU

PLASTIC SURGEON……………………………………

UKO WAPI??????????????????????

PLASTIC VET??????????????????????????????

BEAUTIFY THE WARTHOG!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NI INTRODUCTIONS oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo eti mi ni carl mi naitwa carl

waseeeeeeeeeeee

carl nani?????????????????????

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo eti mi ni paul

puppet bwana dawa

yani kuna mtu sez ye ni carl paul

ika nibidi nitumie kilugha like……………………………..yeye ni mtu dawa????????????????????????????????

like tha medicine man????????????????????????????????????????

si ye ni CALPOL AU MIXOLOGIA IMENIJIA????????????????

CARL PAUL????????/calpol????????????????/

carlpaul yahoo syrup dawa

LIKE KAma  INFANT AKIWA NA FEVER na apewe  AM BEBE ATAPOA???????????????????????????????

ka baby

KUNA WATU NA ………………………………………aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??????????…………….si viatu

ma dawa

HAPA NI SHAMBA SHAPE UP safari

na hii hapa ni mbuzi ya insp.mwala

na this good mbuzi anaitwa……………………..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

davis mwa BILLY GOAT.

GOTEANA/GOATEANADIEL MWALAGOATS

BANNERKUMI BANNER TISA BANA NANE BANNER SABA BANNERSIX BANNERFIVE BANNERFOUR BANNERTATU BANNERTWO BANAONE