HUMOURMOB/BACKSTORY/GOD IS FOR YOU AND FOR US

Numbers 23:19 New International Version (NIV)

19 God is not human, that he should lie,
    not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
    Does he promise and not fulfill?

MUNGU AKISEMA ATAKUBARIKI HAKUNA ATAKAYE ZUIA.EMEN?

MUNGU SIO MTU.

NA UMTUKUZE MUNGU NA KUMSIFU NA KUMSHUKURU BECAUSE AMETENDA MAAJABU.

MUNGU ANATENDA MAAJABU HADI INAFIKA WAKATI AMBAPO WATU WALIOJAWA NA HAMAKI NA UCHUNGU NA WIVU WA SHETANI NA KILA EVIL INAWEZA TOKA KWA MWANADAMU WANAANZA KUONA UCHUNGU MKUU SANA

INAFIKA MAHALI SASA WANATAKA HATA KUMDHIHAKI MUNGU

THE GOOD NEWS WITH GOD NI KWAMBA HE IS NO RESPECTER OF PERONS

YEYE HABADILIKI

AKISEMA AMESEMA

I AM WHO I AM

King James 2000 Bible
Go in, speak unto Pharaoh king of Egypt, that he let the children of Israel go out of his land.

MUNGU akiamuru inatendeka hata wanadamu wakubali na wakatae

KWA SABABU YEYE NI MUNGU MKUU

NA KWA SABABU YEYE NI MUNGU NA HAKUNA ZAIDI YAKE

ALIYE ZAIDI YA MUNGU NA AINUKE ILI AHESABIWE

HAPA TUTAKUELEZA VILE KWA INSTITUTE YA MUNGU IITWAYO MUNGU BABA UNIVERSITY MUNGU ATAKUFUNZA MASOMO ALIYOMFUNZA MOSES HAPO ZAMANI.

MASOMO YA KU STAND STILL AND SEE THE SALVATION OF THE LORD.

MASOMO YA VILE WATU NA VITU VYA MUNGU HAVI GUSWI BILA RUHUSA YAKE

MASOMO YA VILE GOD CAN BE MERCILESS

New International Version
You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.'”

New Living Translation
But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!”

English Standard Version
You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you.”

New American Standard Bible
You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out to face them, for the LORD is with you.”

King James Bible
Ye shall not need to fight in this battle: set yourselves, stand ye still, and see the salvation of the LORD with you, O Judah and Jerusalem: fear not, nor be dismayed; to morrow go out against them: for the LORD will be with you.

UKIONA MAADUI WANAKUINUKIA………………………………………………………………………………………….

HAPA KWA MUNGU’S UNI KUNA ADUI SHUPAVU ANAYEJUA KAZI YAKE VERY WELL.ADUI HUYO NI MUNGU MWENYEWE

NA HAPA ANASEMA……………………………………ako pamoja nawe na usiogope.in case unaogopa hapa kwa CHUO CHA MUNGU WA KUOGOPWA NI MUNGU PEKEE.

mengine yote na wengine wote ni panganga

 Psalm 46:11
The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 100:3
Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Isaiah 2:11
The eyes of the arrogant will be humbled and human pride brought low; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day.

Isaiah 2:17
The arrogance of man will be brought low and human pride humbled; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day,

Isaiah 37:20
Now, LORD our God, deliver us from his hand, so that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that you, LORD, are the only God.”

MUNGU ATATENDA AJABU MPAKA WATU WATAJUA KWAMBA YEYE NI THE ONLY GOD
NA MUNGU HAGAWI UTUKUFU WAKE ETI COALITION NA YE YOTE.
MUNGU AKIKUTENDEA NA AKUBARIKI
HAKUNA ATAKAYE ZUIA NA KUNYAKUA HIYO BARAKA
KWA SABABU BARAKA ZA MUNGU DON’T COME WITH SHARING BUTTONS
UKIONA AMA UKI JUA WATU AMBAO HAWAKUTOSHEKA NA MAISHA ZAO ZILIZO MISERABLE NI KUWAJULISHA ILI WAENDE KWA MUNGU SABABU YEYE NDIYE MWENYE UJUZI WOTE
lakini wakidhani watachukua control ya wana wa MUNGU kama pharaoh……………………………………..basi watajulishwa kwa hofu kuu kwamba vya MUNGU si vya bwerere.zina gharamiwa.na usipo gharamia hautaona milele yote.japo utafute kwa machozi kama esau……………………………………………HAUTAPATA
THE BIBLE SAYS:::;

Scripture says that at this point, “…the children of Israel lifted up their eyes, and, behold, the Egyptians marched after them; and they were sore afraid: and the children of Israel cried out unto the Lord” (Exodus 14:10).

I believe the Lord had two purposes in allowing  impossible situations for his people:

  1. He was determined to so annihilate Israel’s enemies, they would never again have to look over their shoulders in fear. God was saying, in essence, “I’m going to strew your enemies’ bodies along the shore, so you can see every one of them dead. Then you will know I have all power!”
  2. God wanted to provide an opportunity for his people to put their lives in his hands — to stand still and trust him to give them direction.
God was saying, in essence, “I was after something in you. I brought you into these situations so you could practice your faith. Only these kinds of circumstances could produce true faith in you. Only your absolute trust in me could ever get you out!”
IN CASE THE ENEMIES RISE AGAINST YOU STAND STILL AND SEE WHAT GOD CAN AND WILL DO.YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.
HERE ARE A FEW BIBLE  VERSES THAT PROVE TO YOU THAT IT IS WELL WITH YOUR SOUL WHEN YOU MAKE GOD THE MOST HIGH YOUR DWELLING PLACE
New International Version
Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.
GOD WILL KILL THEM IN FRONT OF YOU AND THERE IS NO STOPPING GOD WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE

New Living Translation
But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again.

THE ISRAELITES SAW THE LAST OF THEIR WOULD BE CAPTORS.
THEY WERE CAPTURED FAST BY THE MIGHTY WATERS.AND THE SEA COVERED THEM.THE HORSES AND THEIR RIDERS WERE HURLED INTO THE SEA.

English Standard Version
And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again.

EMEN TO THE WORD OF GOD

New American Standard Bible
But Moses said to the people, “Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever.

GOD KNOWS HIS JOB ALWAYS.JUST WAIT UPON HIM

King James Bible
And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.

LET THEM SWEAT IT OUT WITH GOD.ITS PROBABLY THE LAST TIME THEY EVER WILL SWEAT IT OUT ANYWAY

Holman Christian Standard Bible
But Moses said to the people, “Don’t be afraid. Stand firm and see the LORD’s salvation He will provide for you today; for the Egyptians you see today, you will never see again.

GOD IS FAITHFUL AND TRUE

International Standard Version
Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid! Stand still and watch how the LORD will deliver you today, because you will never again see the Egyptians whom you’re looking at today.

YOU ARE DELIVERED BECAUSE HIS WILL IS ALWAYS DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. and never will the will of your enemies be done for as long as  GOD SITS ON HIS GREAT WHITE THRONE IN HEAVEN.
GOD WILL NEVER GIVE THEM SUCH PLEASURES.
EMEN

NET Bible
Moses said to the people, “Do not fear! Stand firm and see the salvation of the LORD that he will provide for you today; for the Egyptians that you see today you will never, ever see again.

THANK GOD FOR DEFEATING THE ENEMIES OF HIS PEOPLE.
GOD NI YULE YULE.
HE CHANGES NOT.
YESTERDAY TODAY AND FOREVER
No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

humourMOB/BACKSTORY/BACK-STORIA

UKIONA TUNA SPREAD LAUGHTER MOB HAPA

SISI TULISHA CHE KESHWA NA MUNGU KWA VIWANGO VIKUBWA VYA JUU VYA HEAVENLY ND’O MAANA TUNA MA HUMOURMOB NA MA LAUGHTER MOB SANA ZA KU SAMBAZA WORLD WIDE

TUTA KUJULISHA BACK STORY YA HUMOUR MOB AND A LOT OF GOD AND

GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOUR

SI MUNGU YU MUNGU?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

GOD IS GREAT!

humourmob/cup-pu-ccino

cup- pu- ccino
cup- pu- ccino
cat-ana coast ones
cat-ana coast ones CAT…………………………………………………………………………………

CAT-ch rat stuck in a rut

cats do  talk chinese
cats do talk chinese

katana m coast

thinking of joining the rat race???????????

in the head???

rat-chet think-ery ?????????????

paka akiondoka?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

basi amekamilisha term yake.(jokery about african prezidents and their leaving @ end term)

paka akiondoka…………………………………………………………………………

na nkurunziza bado anafanya nini?????????????????????????????????????????????????

si a-o………………………..ndo         1.ke                  2.   (    e……))………………………………….term limits …………………..

coffee cat & a coffee cup= CUP-PU CCINO
coffee cat & a coffee cup=
CUP-PU CCINO

humourmob/MENGI na mengi-ne-yo!

kuishi kwingi kuona mengi mengi yamesemwa

tunaona MENGI hapa

METHALI na kuishi a lot na ku-ona a lot

nina mengi ya kusema miye kama mengi mengi-stu kafanya mengi nchi kapitia mengi................
nina mengi ya kusema miye kama mengi
mengi-stu kafanya mengi
nchi kapitia mengi…………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..sez that kuishi kwingi ni kuona mengi.

haya basi!

thaz why when you log in to twee rer (kanze sez twee rer)

yu find mr mengi there for you to follow.

and to follow a lot/mengi………………………………………………………………………………………………………?

we follow JESUS already………………………….for berrer yu know??????????

kuishi kwingi kuona mengi
mengi yamesemwa

so for watu kama

smart ones marry money money mengi sana mengi kupindukia watoto wataenjoy mengi sana in life
smart ones marry money
money mengi sana
mengi kupindukia
watoto wataenjoy mengi sana in life

hawa ndio waliishi long enough ku-ona mengi

na a step further ku-o-a mengi

na hapa kwa HUMOURMOB constantly……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

freshly BAKEd humourmob RENEWED  Religion Mob Constantly! CONTENT-ED !
freshly BAKEd humourmob pamoja na  RENEWED Religion Mob Constantly!
CONTENT-ED !

BAKED FRESH-LY DAILY KAMA MKATE WA KILA SIKU

utapata MENGI…………………………………………hapa……………………………………………………………………………above

na MENGI———————————————————————NE—YO hapa                                                            below

NEYO
NEYO PAMOJA NA

MENGI

kuishi kwingi kuona mengi mengi yamesemwa
kuishi kwingi kuona mengi
mengi yamesemwa

MENGI NEYO.

HUMOURMOB/SERVED………………………………………………east wing west wing…………

ILIANZA NA KA HOTELI
ILIANZA NA KA HOTELI

IKAENDA…………………………………………………………………………

NATAKA ORDER KITU
NATAKA ORDER KITU

HAYA WAITER ANA ASK ma silly query……………………………………………………

unataka order order kwani wewe u kaparo?????????? ma order wachia kaparo!
unataka order order kwani wewe u kaparo??????????
ma order wachia kaparo!

ikafika hapa……………………………………………………………………

nataka make order ya chicken wings............
nataka make order ya chicken wings…………pishi SHIAN/MPISHI.of coz server analeta hizo ma WING-u APO
NA MENGINE KAMA HAYO
NA MENGINE KAMA HAYO
MA silly query nazo............................................hey  orderr-ly.d'you want the east wing or the west wing???????????
MA silly query nazo……………………………………..hey orderr-ly……..(mwenye order) d’you want the east wing or the west wing??????????? of the white meat?????????????????
kuku si kuku even if from ukambani or westerly.
kuku si kuku even if from ukambani or westerly.
i don't mind all i want is chicken feed for the soul
i don’t mind all i want is chicken feed for the soul
hapa pia tuna fish-ishian
hapa pia tuna fish-ishians
i am not sick i am hungry what do i need a PHYSICIAN FOR???????????? i need a chef de partie...
i am not sick i am hungry what do i need a PHYSICIAN FOR????????????
i need a chef de partie……….coz this party don’t stop…………..
WINGI WA MAN -U NI men -u. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
WINGI WA MAN -U NI men -u.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
laughter is the best medicine...............................HA! HA! HA! HA!! HA HA HA HA HA !
laughter is the best medicine………………………….HA! HA! HA! HA!! HA HA HA HA HA !

John 13:22-25 (The One Jesus Loved)

IF GOD AND JESUS ARE FOR YOU,WHO CAN BE AGAINST YOU??????????????
NOBODY AND NOTHING
AND THE REASON FOR THAT IS SIMPLY A POLITICAL
NI TYRANNY OF NUMBERS
GOD AND JESUS FOR YOU OUTNUMBERS ALL THE WOULD BE NAYSAYERS AND AGAINST YOU’ERS.
EMEN
LET’S SUPPORT TYRANNY OF MA NAMBA.BECAUSE BY THEM NUMBERS ALL YOUR DETRACTORS CRY THEMSELVES HOARSE AND YOU DRINK AND GET MA REFRESHED AND RE NEWED AND ON TOP,AND TO YOUR DESTINATION AND THERE’S NOTHING THEY CAN DO ABOUT IT.

THE RIVER WALK

The One

The disciples looked at each other, wondering whom he could mean. The disciple Jesus loved was sitting next to Jesus at the table. Simon Peter motioned to him to ask, “Who’s he talking about?” So that disciple leaned over to Jesus and asked, “Lord, who is it?” (John 13:22-25)

Read: 2 Samuel 2:12-3:39, John 13:1-30, Psalm 119:1-16, Proverbs 15:29-30

Relate: The 12 Apostles:

Matthew                                        Mark                              Luke                                   John

Peter                                             Peter                    …

View original post 1,098 more words

Street Photography: Seven Photos

after attending a photography “LOUNGE “in the near past,,hivi recently,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i hereby share the love for photography through the way i know how.
through re blogging
how to do photography without doing it literally ?????????????
re blogging

The WordPress.com Blog

It’s no secret that I love to pore through the street photography tag in the WordPress.com Reader and share images that catch my attention. Join me on another trip around the world as seen through the eyes (and lenses!) of these seven skilled photographers.

This arresting image of a bird in a car — juxtaposed against the unknowing elderly man passing by — mesmerizes me. Taken by Beirut photographer Ghaleb Cabbabé, there’s an element of the macabre about this photograph that I find intriguing. The odd bird and the filthy windscreen create a certain palpable sinister portent. Check out more of Ghaleb’s work at ALICE BACK FROM WONDERLAND.

Photo by www.alicebackfromwonderland.com Photo by Ghaleb Cabbabé

Continuing along with ethereal — perhaps even unearthly — imagery, check out this photograph by Akshay Shaha taken at the Multiplex Theatre in Hyderabad, India. The blurred people walking near the Poltergeist poster look as if…

View original post 267 more words

humourmob/swimming pool,PILSNER-sleeping pills na syrup.

kwani izi pool zimemwagiwa omo????????izi ndio zile river omo watu husomanga???????????
kwani izi pool zimemwagiwa omo????????izi ndio zile river omo watu husomanga??????????? ziko colour ya  omo!

uruguay

swimming poolmajiblue

blue water
blue water

kwani hii maji imeoshewa ma jersey za uruguay???????????

that if you wash messi's jersey the water becomes river messissippi????
that if you wash messi’s jersey the water becomes river messissippi????

messissippioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo new jersey new jersey okoa jersey okoa ja-er-zey

kwani hizi maji za pool ni pale blue ish hivi zilioshewa jersey za argentina??????????????
kwani hizi maji za pool ni pale-BLUE- ish hivi zilioshewa jersey za argentina??????????????

SLEEPY DAUDI AMEENDA kwa chemisti kupewa prescription ya pilsner piriton syrup za ku aid in sleeping sickness

dawanol SLEEPING PILSNER syrup      SLEEP MEDICINE SYRUP

SLEEP MEDICINE SYRUP

featured are sleeping pills na syrup

LET THE SLEEPING DOGS LIE
LET THE SLEEPING DOGS LIE
humourmob in sleeping pills
humourmob in sleeping pills

madawa

let sleep-ing dogs lie

.

sleepy nyambura
sleepy nyambura/kat- rina

humouristica in newsletter

May 15th 2015

67
The Write Stuff
We trust that your week has been good.

2015 BAKE Kenyan Blog Awards

The Kenyan Blog Awards for this year came and went but we have the moments captured in beautiful photographs of the winners’ gala night at Intercontinental Hotel. You can view these photos on our facebook page.

We are hiring
We are looking to hire a Marketing and Communications Executive for our Communications Department.  See the requirements here and apply if you feel you’re the right person for the job.

We’re also looking for a County Editor for Nairobi for our citizen journalism website – Kenya Monitor. See what it takes and apply if you qualify.

Blogger Apprenticeship Program
Did you get late to apply for the blogger apprenticeship program? Worry not. The deadline has been extended to 29th May 2015. Apply now.

Story Moja – Nakuru
We will be taking part in the Storymoja Festival  Nakuru on 28th – 30th this month where will cover a beginners as well as advanced course in Blogging and social media. Our sessions will start at 9.00am and end at 2.30pm.

Focus on the counties

Nairobi
There are mixed reactions to the slum upgrading projects in Mukuru kwa Njenga. Read about the winners and the losers here.

Nakuru
The fact that NACADA boss John Mututho plans to vie for the Nakuru Gubernatorial seat in the next general elections does not sit well with the current Governor Kinuthia Mbugua who has hit out at him.

Mombasa
For a very long time the ferries at the Likoni channel in Mombasa have served people day in day out. They’ve however been cumbersome at times, stalling, drifting away to sea and causing scares and massive delays.  Kenya Ferry Services is now looking at cable cars to run concurrently with the ferries. Details on that here.

Makueni
Makueni deputy governor Adelina Mwau is not happy with Speaker Muturi’s proposal to scrap women reps. Read on.

Internet Freedoms
Recently there have been one too many cases of journalists being beaten up and others being summoned by CID for questioning. Is this not journalism under threat? And with this trend, what becomes of bloggers who may not enjoy the same protection as journalists?

Focus on our blog
SEO is the buzzword for successful blogging. How do you make sure that your blog is search engine friendly?

Kenyan blogs of interest

Piga Picha, Mtoto Asome. Read about, and possibly participate in this great initiative by Slumphotography.

How times have changed! Here is a look at how we grew up and how kids are growing up now in terms of technology and the games we played among other things.

This beautiful and touching tribute that Njeri Mureithi has written to her late father is a must read.

Wishing you a blessed weekend ahead.

UPCOMING EVENTS
May 28-30
9.00am – 2.30pm
Story Moja Fest – Nakuru
About Section
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