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HUMOURMOB & WORDPRESS.COM
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&
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sarcasm, wit,satire,comica,humour,CONSTANTLY

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RELIGION CONSTANTLY

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the witches kambini

you should know people.or else as in nai water company you'll find yourself smack amidst witches and sorcerers..........ARM YOURSELF .HAVE GOD A LOT. and see the witches go mad trying to take on GOD. in vain........................
you should know people.or else as in nai water company you’ll find yourself smack amidst witches and sorcerers……….ARM YOURSELF .HAVE GOD A LOT. and see the witches go mad trying to take on GOD. in vain……………………

witches work outs at nairobi water company kariobangi.

its been such a juni-nho month in which a- one batch of the witches left the kambini and there’s still another conglomerate of witches,sorcerers,their snakes,their failed cohorts,their black magic men,,,,,,,their majini and every black-ened item tools of their bewitched trade.

so they dead-ened a snake in kambini and the owners didn’t turn’t up for the works,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,they love watching people and things and they missed the event of snake killing and burning yet they forever hove around gates and doors and compounds and roadsides of others like evil spirits

always monitoring their trade around people’s dwellings

like their father the devil………………………………………they have been in the evil business for long…………………………..and like their father the devil………….they have failed miserably.

their days and dark arts are running short;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;time out,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

very soon we will report a haiti story here

haiti story is a story of the bedeviled bewitched ones going to sleep and no wake up calls because GOD QUAKED THEM AND THEIR PARAPHERNALIA INTO OBLIVION

one night one touch………………………………………………………..

the local witch(es) will be gone the way of their haiti-an craftsmen

and dark risingly when they even move out………………………….its at dark covers covered by the dark?????……………………………………………

M.J AND PECULIAR………………………………bewitched kenyans

the witch ones and their jini cats have moved
the witch ones and their jini cats have moved

a story about the movers……………………………………..they accepted and moved on…

the witch one used to sell household goods(bedevilled bewitched already)

and once a msa khanga turned into a big ferocious cat…………………………………………………… and the most laughable thing is that as the witches conglomerate @ kambini spend most of their miserable bewitched times looking staring gawking at others………………………………………………….

so this big cat also has their ang-a-lican  genes/genes za kuangalia watu and  it also began staring gawking at the one who was sold the msa khanga.EMEN????????????????????????????????

and they teach their off spring to pounce on you with sweet satanic tongues  ”’ satan on sale………………………………..ooooooooooooooo hi neighbour i have this on sale its just for you lovely shoes am selling you

what you dont know is???????????????????????????????????????????????

they aren’t just shoes on sale?????????????????????????????????

??????????????????????????????????????

YOU NEED GOD A LOT TO DESTROY ALL THE WITCHED NESS OF THIS CONGLOMERATE OF WITCHES @

nairobi water co.kariobangi.company bedevilled by the local  witch-es,their snakes,majini,cohorts,their black magic ,,,,men,and their paraphernalia
nairobi water co.kariobangi.company bedevilled by the local witch-es,their snakes,majini,cohorts,their black magic ,,,,men,and their paraphernalia

their work is to over see??????????????

round one of the witch flush is done…………………………………………………

their lurks another round………………………………..

there are a lot of their bewitched stuff lurking around the air………………………….which is no cause for worry

@ side Goshen nothing they do ever works.they fail always in their bewitched practices at side Goshen.they turned into mad people seeking a way to work out their arts at side Goshen

GOD has sealed all loop holes like Noah’s Ark and the bewitched family is looking for ways and means to catch up

at best…………………………………………they are busy chasing a headless chicken

and they also turned into headless chicken running around in circles for nothing doing nothing achieving nothing living a life of misery and nothing chasing after wind

this is the life of the witches kambini.a chasing after the wind
this is the life of the witches kambini.a chasing after the wind.they are devolving problems to others yet they are smack in the road called trouble(d) no end.to their misery there is no end.

CATCH AND WATCH GOD IN ACTION @ GODLAND /GODSPRUIT always.daily.day and night and if you are afraid of fire dont be .fall into the fire and see GOD waiting to catch you in HIS wings.

if you want to fight pick your battles wisely.and have the best back up. GOD.

GOD WILL BACK YOU UP IN A BIG WAY WITH GREAT MIGHT.AND YOU ARE A WINNER WITH GOD

humourmob/travolta,mirror on the wall

the jon travolta
the jon travolta.GREASED,,,,like african palms for foreign business!!!!!!!!!!!,,,,,,,,beaten to a pulp(fiction.HA!) had a fever on saturday night,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,in stead of medicine they changed off his face in face off…………a new face to fight fever???????????????with????????
upper volta
tha kifua kikuu/chest-er house is UPPER-VOLTA
THE LOW LANDS ................................................--------------LOWER VOLTA
THE LOW LANDS …………………………………………————–LOWER VOLTA
IN FANTASY LAND
IN FANTASY LAND

QUEEN:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::mirror mirror on tha wall who is the fairest of them all

fairy

THE MIRROR/MIRAA…………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!………………:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::maswali mengine……………………….. YA MIRAA………………………………… uliza meru/a-meru-ca

snow fairy white
snow fairy white

l

HUMOURMOB/SHORT COMING

SHORT-ENING
SHORT-ENING

IN case you know or don’t know shortcoming as in maanake……………………………………………………………………………………

no waaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss

shortcomings sio vice(roy)

not a vice to be short or shortcoming

short coming is when mwa billi………………………………………..is MWALADYcoming………………………………………………………….kwa kifupi………………………………

SHORtcoming is when zack is unclimbing the snake house/tree in sakata of bring zack back down/back home
SHORtcoming is when zack is unclimbing the snake house/tree in sakata of bring zack back down/back home

and zack saved his self and later was SAVED,not saved by the bell!

HUMOURMOB/an-yeri-ca na bar-code,

the iron curtain
the iron curtain fallen!  fallen!!!

the iron lady…………………………………………………………………………….the iron man 2!

wana nyeri feminia/kama geminia …………………………………………in ….mixtiano ?…did get the propagator of the species………………………………………………………..

…so all’s well???????????? the two shall be  come one

and molded em……………………..they say ma propagator wa species  can be molded and trained to be how you want em??

sorri      sorry in  nyeri the’yre are all BAR-RISTERS!

ma propagator of the species all of them??????

THEY WERE ADMITTED TO THE BAR!  za nyeri……………………………………………. sans   wig …dress    kandhu…. smile ya wako …………………….

ki nyahu nyahu
ki nyahu nyahu
wig de barrister
wig de barrister

(all are seen on the nairobi based  barristers as they’e admitted to tha bar!)

in short we arent talking about law and lawyers here

we’re on about ukarabati and finishing touches

lady iron-man nyeri-ta  found  props…and tried to mold props proper,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  and theyre not plasticine so molding isn’t all that easy,,, props  has been decoded style ya bar code since child hood!

morning    bar   soap frothy drink???????????? mistaken for milk??????????????

mid day    bar-ingo hang around bar waiting for admitted to the bar

jioni         bar        —      agoi     lost in the valley of the shadow of alco hole…………………………………blinded,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,muted,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,dummified………………………….

petrified,,,,de mystified

then enter nyeri-ta

nyeri-ta
nyeri-ta….in  mene mene tekel  hand write on walls  la judgemento

your days o’good for nothing numbered,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you ave been weighed found wanting like belshazzar……..wa’ngombe………………….kingsman/kinsman nebuchadnezzar.

you do nothing,,,,,,,,,,,,,worth nothing,,,,,,,,,,good for nothing,,,,,,,,,,,bad for nothing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you are nothing,,,,,,,,,,,

nothing doin in nyeri xcept beatification…………………………..which is good for FATHER’S DAY

angry nyeri-ta in crude weapons………………………………………

(ata father makeba ako na silaha…………………………………………………makewa na d.j.bunduki…………………………in mlio wa risasi mixology  mix tape…………………..sala……………gunshot……………………………………missing cartridge???????????

father’s day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!indeed until the white smoke screen shows…………………………………………….)

back at nyeri-ta’s…………………………………………

nyeri-ta

has washed painted cleared,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,cleaned,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,fed,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,been fed up………………………….demonstrated,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,gone to a chief,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,to the police,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,to father,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,…………………….to kaguthi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, molded props……………………………trained props in the way he should go,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,proposed radical changess……………………………………………

and then decided to put action speak louder than words

since all say they are good for nothing…………………………………………………………………………………….

action packed  nyeri-ta a.k.a.  the iron man too…………… made the propagator good for nothing   ………………….

nyeri-ngue

no………………………………………………………………good for surgical experimentation in south africa and medical journals..of profs…………….. and uni de  medici’s wa medicine further/father studies?????????????????

instead of  masomo ya kutibu,,,,, new curriculum ,,,,,,,,masomo ya kuti-bua

nyeri-ta doing the  clearing………………………………………..and forwarding to medici prof…………..s.africa,,,,,,,,,,,uni de medici interns………………

nyri-ta has completed her task……………………………………..kwa task bar……………………………………………………….in finishing touches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guilty of finishing touches
guilty of finishing touches

Acts 10:42-43 (They All Point To Him)

YESU NDIYE JUDGE.
WE ALL COME MBELE YA THE JUDGEMENT SEAT OF CHRIST
the good kwa christian ni kwamba judgement ya watu juu ya maisha yako ni as ovyo na bure kama vumbi.haitoki mahali haiendi mahali ni dua ya kuku isiyo mpata mwewe sababu mwewe/eagles wanapaa mbali er.high kama mipango ya MUNGU BABA JUU YA MAISHA YA WATU WAKE.NA KWA MUNGU HAWAWEZI .
MUNGU HAKUWACHA PENYA ROUTES ZOZOTE PAHALI WATAPENYA.
GOD IS GOD OF LAST LAUGHS

THE RIVER WALK

leaning crosses

And he ordered us to preach everywhere and to testify that Jesus is the one appointed by God to be the judge of all—the living and the dead. He is the one all the prophets testified about, saying that everyone who believes in him will have their sins forgiven through his name. (Acts 10:42-43)

Read: 1 Kings 15:25 – 17:24, Acts 10:24-48, Psalm 134:1-3, Proverbs 17:9-11

Relate: Jesus isn’t just for Christians. That might sound a bit strange at first until you look at it sideways. But before I get to that, here’s a little something I read recently:

So she [Mary] carried him [Jesus], and secluded herself with him in a remote place. The labor pains came upon her, but the trunk of a palm tree. She said, “I wish I had died before this, and been completely forgotten.” Then he called to her from beneath her: “Do not…

View original post 547 more words

humouristic (the day i walked in the shadow of death) TANUI’S storo

after a week of a njunge caro- girl thinking of GOD-ZEALOUS people  as being PRETENTIOUS  and mr bicker BIKO also on the case  of GOD ZEALOUS………………………………………………………………………………..

kwani huku kakuwa syria russia arabia????????????????????????????

kuna GOD/JESUS BASHING?????????????????????????

HAPA BW KEEP KO-H/kipkoech tanui sez and well said eti

WHAT I KNOW NOW AND WHICH I THANK GOD FOR,IS THAT IT KILLS.WHATEVER( IT) IS.

NOW FRIENDS NEVER TAKE ANY KITU THAT HAPPENS TO YOU FOR GRANTED AND EVEN AS YOU ENTRUST ALL TO GOD…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

KEYWORD HERE IS TO ENTRUST ALL TO GOD

COZ HE KNOWS AND COZ HE CAN

ONE DAY YOU’LL SUDDENLY BE IN A SITUATION WHERE YOU WILL NEED GOD A LOT

DONT BASH GOD ZEAL

IZI SITUATIONS HATARI ZA KI SUDDEN LIKE A PLANE VANISH NAWE MILELE,PLANE GO DOWN MA ALPS NA WEWE SEEK GOD NA SIKU YA KIAMA IKIFIKA

GOD ATA KU SEEK OUT PIA NA ATA KU SORT

HUMOURMOB/glut,ungwana

somo
somo

what causes glut class?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

like the milk glut we witnesed recently??????????????????????????????????????????

a glutton a glut is caused by a glutton
a glutton
a glut is caused by a glutton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ungwana …………………………………………………….in crazy advice

means when you step on someone’s toe you say POLE

some rude folks step’t on another n instead of sorry?????????????????

saa ingine advice is a vice
saa ingine advice is a vice

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee kwani if a snake  had bitten you would you expect it to say sorry boss??????????????????????????????????????????

mwengine”””””””””””””””””””””””””…………………………..

sometimes it ain't a snake bite but snake like
sometimes it ain’t a snake bite but snake like

maybe you used a scent tha snakes like next time be your own scent .don’t invite a bite from a snake???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

humourita na THE WORD

HOW THINGS WORK IN GODLAND.

WHERE GOD DWELLS

GOD OF SO MUCH MORE………………………………………………………………………………………..

GENESIS 26:12

New Living Translation
When Isaac planted his crops that year, he harvested a hundred times more grain than he planted, for the LORD blessed him.

GEN 26:13

New Living Translation
He became a very rich man, and his wealth continued to grow.

English Standard Version
and the man became rich, and gained more and more until he became very wealthy.

New American Standard Bible
and the man became rich, and continued to grow richer until he became very wealthy;

King James Bible
And the man waxed great, and went forward, and grew until he became very great:

Holman Christian Standard Bible
and the man became rich and kept getting richer until he was very wealthy.

International Standard Version
He became very wealthy and lived a life of wealth, becoming more and more wealthy.

NET Bible
The man became wealthy. His influence continued to grow until he became very prominent.

AND GOD IS NOT EVEN 0.0000000001% FINISHED BLESSING HIM

GEN 26:14

New International Version
He had so many flocks and herds and servants that the Philistines envied him.

New Living Translation
He acquired so many flocks of sheep and goats, herds of cattle, and servants that the Philistines became jealous of him.

English Standard Version
He had possessions of flocks and herds and many servants, so that the Philistines envied him.

Genesis 26:15

New International Version

15

 So all the wells that his father’s servants had dug in the time of his father Abraham, the Philistines stopped up, filling them with earth.

16 

Then Abimelek said to Isaac, “Move away from us; you have become too powerful for us.”

IF YOU BE WITH AND IN GOD

HE annoints you with GODLY annointing oil.and puts a tracking device on you.

if the devil and his minions…………………………………dare to  check you out with evil and jealousy then GOD already knows.

satan watched job jealously from afar and GOD already knew.

LOTS OF GODLY TECHNOLOGY

8

 And the Lord said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?

IN GOD LAND/MUNGU BABA UNIV.,THE LORD KNOWS THOSE WHO ARE HIS

and those who aren’t don’t have any legroom/space this side

even the devil knows that GOD’S systems are TOP GEAR

no wonder then he wanted GOD’S throne and GLORY  and WORSHIP

za GOD’S are FINERY forever

satan was once an occupant of GOD LAND.

before kick-off.kicked out !

GOD IS THE TEACHER.OVER AT GOD LAND.HE TEACHES GODLY TECHNOLOGY /HIS MYSTERIOUS WAYS TO PERFORM HIS WONDERS.

HE’LL TEACH YOU TO KNOW PEOPLE,,,both sides of the coin!,,,,,,,,,,,HE’LL TEACH YOU TO DISCERN SPIRITS,,

HE’LL TEACH YOU SO YOU DONT BE DECEIVED.SO YOU DON’T PERISH FOR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

GEN 26:22

22 

And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, For now the Lord hath made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.

GOD WILL MAKE ROOM FOR YOU.ONLY TRUST IN HIM.

THERE’S ENOUGH ROOM IN GOD LAND FOR EVERY ONE

 

 

humourmob/soda

fantastic soda zee kwani ?????????
fantastic…
soda mzee
kwani ?????????

politically coloured drinks

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

eti kumbuka wakati soda ilikuwa soda oooooooooooooooo             eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee      aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

yeah right.

zilichomwa zikageuka

soda ash!

baking soda
soda for cooking mkate
pika soda roasted ikawa soda ash!!!!!!!!!!
pika soda roasted ikawa soda ash!!!!!!!!!!

maji soda

mix mineral water and soda to get soda water

sprite and water=====???????????????????? water squared

AMA MAJI MAJI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

and in u choo kohozi///////////////////////who chow cozy………………………mathematical problem!

ENO NI MOMO! INO NI MORE MORE MOMO SI ENO??
ENO NI MOMO!
INO NI MORE MORE
MOMO SI ENO??

MOMO WENT FOR  a fitting, for a sewing, of a quality clad.

tha tailor sez to his assistant………………………………………………….. assistant come over and  lez take her measurements*%$@#!/????

assistant sez noooooo.!!!

hapana?

here’s my calculator…………………………………………..

hiii ni ya kufanyia ma-hesabu………………………………

“lez take her perimeter and add it to tha area(s) and get the ???????????????????????? end result”!!!!!!

laughter is the best medicine...............................HA! HA! HA! HA!! HA HA HA HA HA !
laughter is the best medicine………………………….HA! HA! HA! HA!! HA HA HA HA HA !