FRESH BAKED,,,,,,,,,,

2016-05-14 23.01.03.jpgHello everyone,

BAKE Logo
LAUGHTER mob,,,humourmob constantlyTHE NATIONAL GEOG-LAUGHIC CHANNEL

Have you recovered from the BAKE awards yet? What a night it was! Thanks to all who helped to make it a success. We do it again next year, right?

 

Focus on our blog

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We are happy to be a part of this month’s #WhatsNext series by Nest where a panel of senior media executives, innovative entrepreneurs and journalists will assemble to discuss what is transforming both Tech and Media industries.

 

The winners of the Kenyan Blog Awards 2016 (BAKE Awards) were announced on Saturday 14th May 2016 at Radisson Blu Nairobi. Check out the full list of winners here.

 

The BAKE Awards gala event saw a good attendance that went to show the interest Kenyans have in developing and investing in the online space. Here are highlights of the event.

 

If there are no pictures, then it did not happen right? We thought you’d say that and that’s why we took pictures!

 

From our archives

It’s not enough to simply be online, you need to define who you are and curve out a unique space for yourself.

 

Time management is something everyone needs to think of. More so for the bloggers who get paid to write. Here are tips on how to manage your time.

 

iFreedoms
Ever since he wrote a distress post on Facebook about his troubled financial position because of being labeled a terrorist, efforts to locate photographer Msingi Sasis have been futile. Read about Msingi’s mysterious disappearance.

Blogs of interest

Most of us admit that to have dated people whom when we look back we wonder “what was wrong with me?” That said, do you think love and common sense  reside together?

 

Do you often ask yourself; how can I be myself? Do I know myself? Do I know who I am exactly? Is being myself enough? Is being myself appropriate. Better yet, who are you?

 

When people introduce themselves as writers what goes through your mind? Allow this blogger to take you through the complexity of being a writer.

 

Who doesn’t just love their glass of milk? And that rich white cup of tea or coffee? But what if this glass of milk could kill you? Or force you to take a trip to the doctors?

 

Have a safe weekend… IN A WORLD WHERE INCREASINGLY THERE ARE OBSESSIVE  STALKERS AND INCREASINGLY “UNSAFE”

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THE FRESH-LY BAKED STUFF.may 13th

they always say or think that friday a 13th is doomed ,a doomed day.but,,,,,is it?????

Hello people,

 

Tomorrow is D-day! All roads will lead to Radisson Blu, Upperhill from 6pm. We look forward to an evening of fun where the winning bloggers in the various blog categories that you voted for will be crowned. See you there?

 

Focus on our blog

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We are pleased to have Mettā sponsoring this year’s Blog Awards winner in the best Topical Blog category.

 

We have partnered with Uber to offer all our followers who will be attending the awards reliable rides! Yaaay, right?

 

From our archives

Having set up your domain, you will probably rack your brains for an appropriate name for your blog. These factors should guide you towards settling on a good name.

 

“Does my company really need Social Media?” Being on social media, can only be effective if one understands how social media helps businesses

After setting up your blog, you need to ask yourself; is it ready for visits? How do you ensure that it will impress your visitors enough to rope them in for more visits thereafter?

Blogs of interest

If you read about the health benefits of  Almond nuts, would it convince you to grab a handful instead of the usual fried foods that you eat during snack time? Would it?

 

“No amount of curated decor or spectacular cuisine could cover up a troubled heart. Home is first in the heart, and then it touches and gives life to everything around it”how profound is that?

 

One staple every guy should have in their wardrobe is a leather jacket. It doesn’t matter your age; whether you’re 12 or 45, a nicely fitted leather jacket will definitely make heads turn

 

How about we set off your weekend with a short story about love, betrayal, pregnancy and the brewing of an earth-shattering scandal?

 

Have a FUN “DRUNK IN LAUGH” weekend.

HUMourITA:ETHNIC JOKES? A DEBATE?

                                              DA GREAT        DEBATE::RS CONtest.

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EMMAMOB & HUMOURMOB GALACTICOS / GA-LAUGH-TICOS!@#? DON’T ……..TO ETHNIC-OLOGY  JOKES

 

coz wana steal tests;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;julie  ushuru and arimus media yanawaletea KIDZZZZZZZZZZ  CON-TESTS ,,,,,,,,,so lez see how conning they are them high school kidz,

presenting……………….

ETHNIC JOKES AND STEREO TYPES IN COMEDY  SHOULD BE OUT LAWED

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YES NAKUBALIANA  THEY SHOWCASE SHALLOWLITYMENTALITY

THAT KENYANS ONLY FIND HUMOUR IN ETHNIC JOKES??????A KIDZZZZ SAYZ ATI KENYANZ AZ WE KNOW ONLY FIND HUMOUR IN ETHNIC JOKES SO WHY SHOOD WE NOT DO THEM ETHNICOS???????????

HUMOURMOB GA-LAUGH-TICOS.…….Image result for A PIC OF ONE LAUGHING ILLUSTRATION….taf-rija na ……LAUGH-RIJA CONSTANTLY

 

 

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laugh out louder,,,,,,,,,,,,constantly

 

THE 48 LAWS OF POWER.THE 48TH LAW

LAW 48

ASSUME FORMLESSNESS

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The objective of this law is to make someone be unpredictable, and difficult to understand by the enemies. It will enable them to be in the lead without the enemies actually knowing that they are being defeated, but later on realize that they are losing which would most probably create fear and lower their morale. This way the enemies would find it difficult to know what you think as well as your moves while you can completely predict what they think and how they move. This law also gives importance to a person’s ability to adapt to the changes and uncertainty, wherein they would not falter and get confused when the time comes that they encounter great changes.

 

 

 

 

48 laws of power: LAW 48: Assume Formlessness

 

48laws-of-power.blogspot.com/2008/…/law48-assume-formlessness.ht…

Dec 19, 2008 – The 48th Law of Power. Assume Formlessness. Every other individual would want to protect themselves and at the same time achieve what …

 

48 Laws Of Power: Law #48 Assume Formlessness …

simpleunimpressiverealness.com/…/48laws-of-powerlaw48-assume-for…
Oct 31, 2015 – Law 48: Assume formlessness By having a visible plan you open yourself to attack. Stay adaptable and on the move Accept that nothing is …
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PLAY DUMB AND DUMBER.ATTACK WHEN IT IS LEAST EXPECTED
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ASIYEKUBALI KUSHINDWA SI MSHI-NDANI.?: SO NI MSHI- NJE?
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MALI YA MJINGA,,,,KULIWA NA WEREVU………………………….in…………………”wajinga ndio wali-wao”
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YOU BE FIRED!YOU NEED THE ??? friendly is a way that’s not completely sincere! ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT?
PUSH-ENKOImage result for the 48 laws of power. law 48
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GAS IS THE SOURCE OF A 2000 DEGREE FLAME

 

 

 

 

EMEN

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humourita:the 48 LAWS OF POWER.THE 20TH

LAW 20

DO NOT COMMIT TO ANY-ONE

The 48 Laws of Power: Law 20: Do Not Commit to Anyone

 

It is the fool who always rushes to take sides.

Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself.

By maintaining your independence, you become the master of …………………………………………………………….

 

 

AUTHORITY

 

do not commit yourself to anybody or anything ,,,for that is to be a slave……..

a slave to every man…………………………………

above all,,,,,,,keep yourself free of commitments and obligations-

they are the device of another to get you into his power

POWER YOUR OWN DEVICES

 

 

OBLIGATED TO GOD FIRST.CONSTANTLY

 

HUMOURMOB.attack- batoto ba CONGO!brain cancer?

LO! CANCER YA BONGO

 

 

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LO! CANCER YA BONGO!

 

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ETI BA CONGO  NA MA  LONGOMBAs OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ETI NA MA CANCER MA BRAIN MA TUMOUR MA CARCINOMA NA MA CARCINOGENS NA

TALKS MOB ZA CANCER MOB

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

@ the real truth ni kwamba……………………………………………………………….

UKIONA M-CONGO AME-PATWA NA BRAIN CANCER??????????????????

BASI NI BECAUSE ALI BLEACH SANA MPAKA AKILI

YEAH!

if you see a congolese ako na brain cancer

basi ali-bleach mpaka akili

 

Image result for the brainiiiii  ni pic ya akili msee

 

 

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

eti akili ni nywele??????

iyo ni nywele ama akili?

so akili na nywele zina fanana aje?si ingine i ndani ingine iko nje?

so tha hair iz just akili taken out?ing?

 

written BY

  “THE ATTACKER”

AKA

JULIA “THE BITCH” BITCHURU

 

;ts nothin personal

juzt bitchiness

 

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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ebu  fanyisha akili tizi na usi bleach akili

 

 

humourmob/the book of AMOS jo?sure?

CHOCHA RITA NA KU CHOCHA-RISHA /CHO-CHA-NISHA AKILI

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO kuna watuuuuuuuu na viatuuuuuuuuuuuu duniani

and hapa they are.

na uchochezi starts nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!@#$%^&*

Amos was a prophet, during the reign of Jeroboam ben Joash (Jeroboam II), ruler of Israel from 793 BC to 753 BC, and the reign of Uzziah, King of Judah, at a time when both kingdoms (Israel in the North and Judah in the South) were peaking in prosperity. He was a contemporary of the prophet Hosea, but likely preceded him.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

kweni sio thiz msee apa?????????????????????

kweni si amos yu huyu hapa?????????????????

KWENI AMOSi wa jameni   SIO CONTEMPORARY WA JOSHi ??????????????????????

 

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

si iko mtu anadhania eti tha book ov amos ni ka exercise book yenye amos ali -buy-iwa na whoever?

MA UGALI SOSA SAUCER? MA AKILI CHOCHA????????????

 

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THE BOOK OF AMOS

 

 

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ema..!#$%^& SIMBA……. KAMA,,,…… ROAR-ITA…………roaring on ………………………………………………CONSTANTLY.

 

 

 

HUMOURMOB-“DRUNK IN LAUGH WITH OUR VIEW-ERS ALWAYS WORLD-WIDE.LAUGH OUT LOUD “

GOD LICENSED LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER IZ GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR BONES

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

KICHEKO MOB SIO UJINGA

NI-U-DAKTARI WA HALI YA JUU

CHEKA UONE

NA UKIONA YA KUCHEKESHA PIA UCHEKE

Proverbs 17:22

 

 

New King James Version

(N K J V)

22

 A merry heart does good, like medicine,
But a broken spirit dries the bones.

PROVERBS 17:22  KJV  “A merry heart doeth good [like] a …

 

He that begetteth a fool [doeth it] to his sorrow: and the father of a fool hath no joy.

THE FOOLISH-IANS THAR IZ

A merry heart doeth good [like] a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones

LAUGHTIPS

A merry heart doeth good like medicine.

King Solomon

LAUGHTARI
LAUGH-A-RO-SCOPY.SURGERY YA KUFANYA MTU HACHEKI ACHEKE

KUONGEA KWA UMMA

WEWE NI UN-BWOGABLE.

USIOGOPE

GOD AKO IN CHARGE

TENA IN CHARGE FOR A VERY LONG TIME TO COME

SO WHO CAN SHTUA YOU???????????

pic-chazzz na storo na porojo na mahanjam!

WISH EVERY BODY A HAPPY NEW YEAR

mwaka happy

HAPPY 2016

 

 KICHEKO/VICHEKO/HUMOURMOB/HUMOUR/SATIRE/SEMI CIRCLE/POROJO/STORO MOB/ MILELE

picha by blurred lines……………………..

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THIZ MZU-NYE IZ BUZY ON THA PHONE IN “WENDA-WA-SIMU” AMA PHONE MAD-ITY. and in mambo na ma BRANDS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, NEARLY EVERY ONE HAD A SAMSUNG SMART PHONE AND THAZ A BIG NOD TO KOREAN WORKMAN SHIP. YAANI RUBBER STAMP KUBWA KWA KOREA KUSINI.IMAGINE LIKE KILA MSEE APO ALI SIKILIZANA TO HAVE MA SAMSUNG VITU’ZZZZZZZZ? fro tha wa biggy to wa wote!
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tha press centre ama MEDIA CENTRE.in storo mob%^&*$#@!
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MA WEST AFRICAN JOURNO’S APO KWA DESK

tha mzungu uko mbele in light green ni LOBBYIST FROM WASHINGTON D.C (washington district of columbia)that iz. hatuangushi jina yake na kadhalika apa!

of coz tuta piga ma storo about LOBBYING and how it’z BIG STUFF IN THA CORRIDORZ OF POWER HUKO WASHINGTON.SIKU IKIFIKA.

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NIVEA YA KU?!!!!  of coz it iz an anti-perspirant.shangazi ya?perspiration!
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in BRAND ZZZZZZZ  hata NIVEA INA RANK MA JUU LIKE THA SAMSUNG’s.VITUS
em1
viatu ya johnny depp.STAR SPANGLED BANNERS NJUMUZ
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THERE WAS A LOT OF FASHION NA STYLE ON DISPLAY LIKE SOME EUROPEAN FASHION WEEK EVENT.

 

AND THE men and men’s wear IKAWA BAMBA .men’s wear has gone mbali

like did i see the devil?????????????

 

 

reddevils

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PICHA AINA YA BLURRED LINES twataka uone vile msee wa macho chongo au weak eyed anasikia.like unaona yet like hau-oni clear?

i thing-k even the devil likes high fashion

cozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA!

 

 

prada designer

N prada iz high couture

FRESH BAKE’d @ DOT-DEC holiday!

Dec 18th 2015
The Write Stuff

Hello everyone,

We hope that your week went well, and that you are geared up for the Christmas holidays. By sharing these reads, we hope to add to your Christmas cheer.

Focus on our blog

Blogging Over Christmas.jpg

Do you suspect that your blog will suffer neglect during the Christmas season? Maybe you should consider doing this?

PAWA Festival will take over Nairobi, in a street Festival to be held at City Hall way, at the public space in front of KICC. This might just interest you.

Kenyans have an entrepreneurial fire that drives them against all odds. Here is a guest post on our blog to drive this point home.

Focus on the counties

Nairobi
Parents are to blame for bad conduct among teens. This writer seeks to explain why.

Nakuru
Nakuru woman with strange disease appeals for medical support. What started as an off and on loss of vision ended up in a battle to survive.

Isiolo
The harsh economic times and the attempts to fight food insecurity are making nomadic communities in Isiolo County shift from herding to crop production.

Health
Water is life” is a statement that has essentially become a cliché and the importance of this commodity is grossly misunderstood by those whohave it abundantly.

Kenyan blogs of interest

Don’t wait too long  to have fun with your daughter and son before they become teenagers. Here is a blogger who goes ahead of his time as he drafts a memoir to his unborn son.

Maybe Christmas is the perfect time to get out of your comfort zone? And maybe your life has become too routine? So maybe you want to re-write it?

If you need a book to read or to gift someone for Christmas, we’ve discovered just the place for you to buy it: theMagunga online bookstore!

HAVE A “DRUNK IN LAUGH”WEEKEND & DEC