humourmob/PICTURE BOOK

  • BULLET    A.K.A. sandra bullet

…………………………

BULLETA

pump  aka lisa van der pump

pampers

zip aka ZIPP blatterzipp blatter zippy

PILLOWANDREA PIRLO

ANDREA PIRLO/PILLOW…………..whatever

MR ANDREWD ONDIEK AKA BWANA HYENA

HIGH ENA

Kwa  menu hizi  food stuff  zaitwa ::::…………………KEN/cane  WALI  BORABBCRICE MWINDIMCHELE WALI

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humourmob/gor-zilla

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soooooooooooo  gorillas like eating stems,fruits,bamboo???????????????????
like are gorillas chinese????????????????????????????????????
baboons like to go bananas and drink fan ta and stay ba(m)boo(n)cha
peculiar kenyans like to give them alco hol on road trips?????????????????????????
just watering their dry throats?????????????????
then police come and put alco-blow kwa monkey mouth and smell the stuff………… but dont arrest them for being on the road kwa barabara and drunk???????????????????????kwani walijuaje watu wana wape pombe bila ku tumia alco-blow???????????????
kws wa arrest the drunk wanyama????????????
hao si utumishi kwa wote hao ni utumishi kwa huduma za wildlife………………………….whatever……..(u double standards)
karo even gives them ama rula licker/liquor?????????????????
countryman licker/liquor
so since modern peeps love junk food and we use bamboo to make stuff and bath wash with bamboo shoots and fruits for juices and stems for stem-cell re-search????????????????
let HOUSE OF MANJI maka//bake CHOCOLATE CHIMP COOKIES FOR CHIMPANZEES.
let booker T also write MEALS AND BOON BOOKS FOR BA BOONs??????????????MILLS & BOON????????????WE DONT WANT THEM ILLITERATE???????????????
GOR MA HERE/hia tuachie gor-illa

odm gor

 

HUMOURMOB/methali/MIXOLOGIA

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WAHENGA si walisema eti macho haina pazia………………………….right???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
HALAFU farah maalim comes in and says the eyes have it the A-YES HAVE IT(may ass many ass are of this op-inion say eye?????????????????????????????
ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
may ass many ass are not of this stuff say NAIIIIIIIIIIIII
NAI NI WHO???????????????????????????
HALAFUUUUUU::::::::::THE EYES HAVE IT
THE A-YES HAVE IT
MIXOLOGY/MIXOLOGIA

ANKA7

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

IT was just about darky cloudy and i ask the gate man,boy,keeper kama kuna mvua???????????????????????????????????

OF COURSE HOPING RAILA DID NOT INTERFERE WITH CLOUD CONNECTIVITY………………………..LIKE SI HE’S EVERYWHERE?????????????????????????(JOKING TU)

SO i am asking gate-te njoroge/ a.k.a.gate-guy huyo
kama kuna (dalili za) mvua/MVUA then a kid said in a loud voice SINA MVUA
mayie pepe-rain-er/reyna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

humourMOB/dj nick bee

METHALI INASEMANGA
ETI FUATA NYUKI ULE ASALI

ANKA8
but si daudi wa mombasa alifanya that that na ikawa the end yake.aka enda milele.bila hata ya ku sali-sha hiyo asali????????
sweet honey turned into bitter lemon(krest).sour sour/sawa sawa?????????
bila hata kionjo ya hiyo asali??????aka exit.
it should be FUATA NYUKI UFE.UFE FE FE FE.
miye ni bi.keeper.sio ms.goalie/bibiye goalie bali niko na a hive of bees,na wanaimbanga.wana buzz-ingi,sana mpaka kuna moja wao buzzer m-deadly sana ana press the buzzer sana yaani akikuona na wenzake ana buzz loudly sana mpaka tumemfanyia/kumtolea recodi zake za ku-bonyeza kidude/ku press hiyo buzzer yake.yeye ndio queen bee mzalishaji/producer wao.lakini juu ya ku buzz sana……………..yeye ni D.J.NICK BEE.lakini usim-sogee ukitaka kuusikia muziki/buzzer/hits zake coz atakuangushia sting na maumivu badala ya ngoma.
wataka ngoma au ufe?????au asali????????
UKITAKA ASALI USIFUATE NYUKI,,,,ENDA KWA SUPERMARKET UNU-NUE.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee as sweet as honey ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo as busy as a BEE.
si hata kambi ya ribena iko na asali siku hizi????????????
inaitwa RI-BEE-NA.
katengezwa ki-collabo ya nyuki na asali na vitamin C io/cio/sio/isiyo!
emma gor
BUT I ASK ??????????????????????is a bee stingy as in STINGY????????????
english can really mix you up??????????????????
sting::::::::::::::the bite of a bee
stingy:::::::::::::being mean
so is a bee stingy yet it gives us beeswax for lip-balm?????????????????
yet it gives us asali??????????????
yet it gives us a STING?????????????????
IS QUEEN BEE STINGY?????????????????

HUMOURITA/DR.DOLLAR

JESU

if you can imagine a whole lineage of DR.creflo dollar,,,,,,,,,,lez say a million descendants…………………………………………then PAP,right there you have a million dollars!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!(joking)
SO BWANA DR.CREFLO $$$$$$$$$$$$ DOLLAR GIVES A TALK @ safari park,and its good to get some points.
1.#.never put money mbele ya MUNGU.GOD COMES FIRST
2.#.bila GOD you can’t prosper
3.#.money has a mission.know why GOD prospered/prospers you
4.#.prosperity comes from GOD who gives you the power to make wealth
5.#.you have to understand the purpose of the money GOD gives you or has given you
6.#.when you invest money in ministry/ies na mtu aka-okoka coz of the ministry then your money provides another sanctuary for JESUS to come and dwell.EMEN
7.#.WAkenya are hungry for GOD

8.#.YOU ARE LOVED BY GOD AND PLEASE KNOW THAT EVEN WHEN YOU MISS THE MARK
PLS READ GENESIS 39:::::
it’s not so much what you know but who you know.GOD that is.
9.#.on the outside it may look like you are not prospering yet but if the LORD be with you,HE’ll call prosperity and success
just SAY YOU ARE PROSPEROUS IN JESUS’ NAME,,,,,and its based on the presence of GOD in your life.
10.#.GLORY BE TO GOD

IMANI
be filled with everything GOD has promised to you.
11.#.THE LORD MADE ALL THAT JOSEPH DID TO BE SUCCESSFUL
12.#.GOD created things to seek you and not vice-versa.SEEK YE FIRST THE UFALME WA MUNGU AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS AND ALL THESE THINGS SHALL BE ADDED UNTO YOU
13.#.joseph found grace and favour in HIS sight both GOD’S and potiphar’s
its an encounter with un-merited favour/GOD’S GRACE.

                                                                       MAISHA MAGIC
14.#.you are blessed to be a blessing.you become a thing to prevent mis-fortune in the life of other people
15.#.SAY YOU HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF UN-DESERVED FAVOUR IN JESUS’ NAME
16.#.be determined to do what is right coz its right then do it right
17.#.even if you fall,in the hands of GRACE you’ll get back up again.it’s GOD’S favour that causes it to happen and not you
18.#.don’t do your best and let GOD do the rest,,,,,,,,,,,,LET GOD HAVE ALL CHARGE OVER YOU.GOD WANTS YOU/US TO DEPEND ON HIM.his help,HIS GRACE,his annointing,his abundance and all that
19.#.success is not what you have but who you have

                                                                  OGOPA DEE JAY
20.#.the presence of GOD in your life is what makes you successful/a success
21.#.AM A SUCCESSFUL PERSON IN THE LORD’S NAME AND THE LORD IS WITH ME
22.#.all our struggling,willpower,discipline,self-effort can’t do what the presence of GOD can do in an instant.
23.TRUST IN THE LORD

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humourmob/a meri Criminal

ONLY In America THE SONG OF LAW ino THE LAW.THE LAW.LAW.LAW
ONCE UPON a time::::::::::::::::::::pic222
police/COPS/corpse ???????????? booked a m-halifu.in US its booking for criminals,arrests are used by docs to describe heart conditions/failing hearts etccc CAR-DIAC ARRESTS.so they booked a hunky model criminal. looks like jude LAW.the long hand of the LAW caught up with OTI(eno).AKA hottie.and the cops posted ‘im kwa wall,kwa post ki F.B.I,,,,,,(facebook info.that is)………… and NOT NOT the federoll on a roll/ral bureau of investi…………..???????????????gate ion/gation.once upon a time things were posted kwa post office,,,,,,,,,but now,,,,,,,,,,peeps,things,stuff,pics,peeks all things are posted on F.B.I.PAGES.(Facebook info that is)so when you see a christy ronaldo m-halifu on a police dept fbi page,,,(facebook info that isss)you let a dating agency go thru his profile and post him to search-crews,,,,,,,,, those looking for some-one to…………………..date,spend the rest of the lives together,marry,companion etccccc……SOOOO..do they up-load him to formula one/danica patrick for speed dating in a police chase car,escape club ing to jail to find yourself a keeper???????????coz hez already a kept person in jail????????????or do you keep poultry in jail?????????????????????????
aka JAIL-BIRD?????????so if he becomes the ex once upon a time………..aka the X-MEN days of future fasttttttt???????so E’ll he be your ex-convict???????????????????????
his lawyers booked him in a modelling agency to re-model his behaviour(smoke,snorting stuff… pigs,cocaine.injecting……..inhaling…..etc…)
he’s more than the 130 times re-modelled KEN-DOLL but still not a looker
lez finish singing in SING a pore. CIN(g)CIN(g)natti

humourmob/ROJO

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SWALA ISIYO NYETI ,,,,,,nauliza eti MARcos ROJO anatengeneza MCHUZI rojo rojo???????????????????????????

soooooo anaenda training na tizi uwanjani au..uuu utalii?????????????????????

sooooooooooooo ataonyesha ushamiri wake kwa world stage au kwa royco cooking auditionsssssssss??????????????????????????????????????????????????
sssooo mchuzi huo waitwa ROJO MILLER?????/MEAL ER-R-R-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
foot-ball food for a football guy????????????????????????????????????????
Rojo hindu-stanipicvvv

humourmob/ otieno/paul beer

 

ANKA10

OTIENO AKO WAPI NOWADAYS?????????………………
amefungwa.
na shule je?????shule yao imefungwa.
na ngombe wake??????????
si amefungwa,,,uwanjani!
ne wewe je ????????
si mi ni me fungika na job pia…………
aaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii– kwani miroslav klose amekuwa huku?????????????????????????????
yaani kila kitu kime-fungwa………………………
si you wish some-one to klose him/lock him in the kloset/closet???????????????????????????
(si jamaa ana ku-watch closely and then he C/Klose(s)the deal????????????????????????)
bila kusahau c/klosed-shoez za kucheza ball.open shoes wachia??????????????? opening-games au open-er ya soda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!afungue!

ETI prezidente  aitwa PAUL BEER/BIYA????????????????????????
halafu bi*2/bibiye ??????????????????????

aitwa mar celina ka-pombe???????????
au cha mtaa beer???????????????????? ni cha(?)wa mtaa??????????????
cha -m/n-taa(l) beer??????????????????
sa ingine damu ya ukoo iko na methano(l)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ni damuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
ni damu sio utaniiiiiiiiiiiiii…………………………
so do people really need a blood transplant??????????????????????????
what a bloody query!!!!!!!!!JANOM

humourmob/newzanchor

emmage

EARLY MAN ZOO:::::::::WAcha tupumue kidogo kisha tuendelee na taarifa zaidi/ZAIDI.

ZA IDI???????????za iddi????????????????????????????iddi achieng?????????????idi amin???????????????idi  na menzel????????????????????????????IDD-ul??feet
‘rrrrrrrr??????????i.d(one da/(i)rection)?.????????
si n’mechanganyikiwa???????????????????????????????????

emmaimage

#2 . haya bi.MARY KGB (KG ni kilo)na B NI bi
anasema mwelekezi wake amesema afunganye virago vyake na aende zake na pia yeye she sez……..ata do hivyo-hivyo.mara that(6/8)
swala ni???????????kwani anakujanga na mzigo yake yote kwa studio
she lugs all the luggage??????????daily
si azipeleke LUG-ARI?????????
So sasa anakuja-nga na loader na turn-boy kazini????????????au anakuja na trailer???????????????????????????????????????????????????
mi na wonder???????????????????????????????
aki…..OH MY LOAD!
akifika morning………………..ni ku download hizo mzigo…………………..iki fika jioni………………………………..ni ku up-load hizo mizigo

AKA THE LOAD/LOADER/LOADRESS OF THE RINGSJANOM

HUMOURMOB/query silly

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TEACHER:::::::::::hey yooooooooo kid………..what is a landlocked country??????????????????????????????
SILLY KIDDOOOOO::::::::::ni nchi imefungwa na miroslav klose
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

#2.miroslav klose anatumia-nga tooth paste gani???????????????
jibu silly::::::::KLOSE-UP!

#3.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee si you look familiar oooooooooooooooooooooooyou look familiar
aki you really look familiar unaitwa nani???????????????????????????
SILLY JIBU::::::::naitwa MAZDA FAMILIA  (R)