humourmob/porojo,methali,omari god

mymyalex under mule musau

don carlo

UKITAKA KUPATANA NA MULE WAKO……………………………………..

JUZT VISIT MULE–mbe night.

mule ameshiki lia hapo hapo.

KEEP IT Locked hapoUFULI

oooooooooooooooooo eti kidole kimoja haki-ui/vunji chawa/KIDOLE KIMOJA::::::::::

hiyo ni ya wale wa ku-heng/wa heng-a tu

kweli ni kidole kimoja imesaidia moi kuwa profesa wa politici kwa mwongo mingi sana

juz one finger.

dolly moi kanu odm dole doldol

wengine wanakuja na umbrella na el nino torres /torrents mvua inazi fell down PAP!

wengine wana come na tinga,,,,!

na kuku………..kuku……….. kabla kabla kuku kageuka chicken tikka…………….khalwale na kuku

wengine waja na masaa na wall clocks wengine na maua,,,,,,,,,,masaa wachia olympians wavunjie rekodi

maua wachia willy paul aekee waliolala salamalily pollyLOCK

lock it

sooooo

inakuwanga eti MUNGU si athumani?????????????????????

aight???????????????

haya .Mungu si athumani.

kisha hivi recently n’kasikia jamaa wa ku twang na ku tweng na ombi

eti do this omari god……………………….eti give this omari god,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,eti we ask this omari god??????????????????????????ooooooooooooooo tenda this omari god………….oooooo usifiwe omari god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

si MUNGU si athumani?????????????????haya basi sio omari pia.kwa bw.omba/ombre mungu sio athumani wala omari

lakini si  kuna tofauti kati ya Almighty na omari??????????????????????preys oooooo indi p-to

KILO

lock that hapo

CARMELO ANTONYIMAGE POPO CAR BAS PONY CAMEL

WHO IS A CAMEL NOW??????????????????????????????????????????????????

furahi-day

KIOKO

images (3)

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HUMOURITA:PETER.st.PETER/the Rock

THE apostle PETER alikuwa one of JESUS’ 12 DISCIPLES.
HIS original name was simon which means the Rock.
his occupation was fishing.and his father was JONAH, na the brother was ANDREW who was also a disciple.he was married and his wife accompanied him on his missionary journeys(1 co 9:5)
HE was recognized as a leader among the disciples
he was a Galilean from Bethsaida,which is on the northern shore of the sea of galilee.later lived in capernaum.he lived there in a large house with his own family,brother Andrew,mother-in-law(not charity)also lived there(mark 1:29,matt 8:14)
it was Andrew who first found the Lord and then brought Simon to Jesus(john 1 :41).
SIGNIFICANT EVENTS:
#.HE WAS ONE OF THE THREE DISCIPLES WHO FORMED THE INNER CIRCLE.wengine walikuwa James and John.walikuwa na JESUS on the Mount of Transfiguration(mt 17:1-9) and in the Garden of Gethsemane(mt 26:37)
#.a miraculous catch of fish from Jesus(luke 6:7-14)
#.walking on water (mt 14:29)
#.by divine revelation he correctly answered the question “who do you say that i am?”(mk 8:30,luke 9:20,mt 16:16)
#.rebuked Jesus when he told his disciples that he was going to suffer(matthew 16:22,23)
#.denied Jesus 3 times as Jesus had predicted(matthew 26:69-75)
#.commissioned by Jesus (john 21:15-23)
#.addressed the crowds on the day of Pentecost(acts 2)
#.wrote two books of the new testament 1 and 2 peter
#.was apparently crucified upside down at rome duringthe time of emperor nero
OTHER SIGNIFICANT BIBLE REFERENCES INCLUDE
1.HIS CALL:mark 1:16-17
2.HIS CONFESSION:mark 8:27-30
3.HIS DENIAL THAT HE HAD BEEN WITH JESUS:mark 14:66-72
4.HIS SERMON AT PENTECOST:acts 2:14-36
5.HIS VISION OF A SHEET FULL OF ANIMALS DESCENDED FROM HEAVEN: acts 10:1-43BIBS BIBES

humourmob/the mannolos

the manolos………….no……………THE MANN(S)mann-olosmaua meru
they are peeps not shoes!!!!
the mann-olos starring bwana daudi mann/ comica
bi.tamela mann /at east ./artist ki-go-spell(kwa spelling bee??)????????

toonz
the boy aka boy’d mann,,,,,,,,he manns the door and kila kitu(as in JA-LANGO)

thaz door-man in another dialect…………..huh!
and the gal is gal-vanise mann
we presume
and together this familia is mann-chester united
and the grand-pa is in retirement.and the grandy is in ferguson??????????????????????? missouri or is in ferguson the scot ferguson???????????so when the mann-ed kids are unwell does he give em some scot’s emulsion?????????????????????????
so they be mann on top???????????????
so the ferguson grandy is @ home in scot-a-rica na wazee wa rika yake and he’s looking for anything to make him tired so he can RE-TIRE again.wow old mann,in a mann-chester united mann-sion
thaz it about the mann-olosblahniks sharpbut manolos are shoez .true.

shoezman-city.

 

humourmob/neigh,mule,etc…………

LOUD SPEAKER:MAY ASS MANY ASS ARE OF THIS OPINION SAY AYE
AND MAY AS MANY ASS ARE NOT OF THIZ OPINION SAY NEIGHHOS HOSI HOST

THE NEIGHS HAVE IT.THE NAYS HAVE IT
odm

rita oraHII CHUNGWA/ICHUNGWA:TO blame hii na hii na hii on local politics ni hippo creasy/hypocrisy?????????????????
AI????????AI?AI????????AI????????
HIppo ako na creases??????????????
si apigiwe pasi?????????na van pasi????????????

#.so when animals are classified ki-living things in bio-logy????????????do we classify michael phelps under amphibians??????????????????or ??????????extra-terrestrial???????????????????????
DOES HE EAT KELP UNDER WATER?????????????????
MAJIfelipe

 

mule musauthese no-eer/ no-ah wanyama waitwa mule.

MULES

BABA PUNDA MAMA FARASI

ni wa cumber toka u-cumber-ni.

wa down ni alexander/under MULE musau

mulika
huyu jamaa ni el presidente AKA SENORITA PRESIDENTE???????????

NO snorita.SNORITA PRESIDENTE

snores like a chimney????????????

yeah.snore-kelling!!!!!!!!!!
YE NI ERNESTE BAI KOROMA
ANA KOROMA-NGA
HATA SAI ANA KOROMA
SIO THE KOROMA-JONG OF UGANDA
YEYE NI OF BED-ford-shire
wa-kukoroma niwa kutoka bed-ford/kitandani star sio snii snowsosowigz wig

this WIG is called kristen WIIG.she’z @ tinseltown

HUMOURITA/GRACED

HUMOURITA. With lots of Laugh.

I OVERHEARD MR.STEVE HARVEY of the steve harvey show say last night how HE is so GRACED to meet a lady who was helped in her own way by his book act like a lady think like a man.and i loved his GRACED appreciation.AND he says its because of GOD’S GRACE that it was so.

STYSTI
I have been most GRACED to have people in EUROPE,U.S.A. FOLLOW MY BLOG AND humorous articles complete with a surprise from the far east.i am most GRACED to have malaysians taking interest in this stuff.even a BEER HOLIC/BEER-SHEBA guy who runs his alcoholic blog found a place for himself in this stuff.and translated it into his native language.AND ALL THE goodwill from wordpress.com,,,,,,,,,,i am most GRACED to find myself with you.and i APPRECIATE ALL i have gained from this platform
at WORDPRESS,all this exposure is so invaluable and valuable.
all at the same time
BUT…

View original post 366 more words

humourmob/unpresidented

NEWS FROM THE EGG

KEEP ON KUONA HEN.T.V from the egg………………s neijder landseggs  news hague the hague the eggRIPOTA WA POWER HAPA A-KU-KU NON-DANGER:
1.ATI ICC proze-q-tion na kenyatta’z defence lock horns @ icc status conference??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
kwani opembe alikuwa huko??????????????????????
au madam fatty ben sugar……..watu huskia this jinas differently…………………amemea pembe??????????????????????????????????????
she needs to be pembeni????????????????????//
so pembe ya bensouda ndio the horn of africa??????????????????????
HORNbills shida’s ni HORN bill’z shidaz
2.si wanaitwa sherehe pia??????????????????????????????
kweli ni festive season coz fatty ben sugar anataka wa-refer-iwe kwa assembly of state parties……………….ole lane kuu aka chef de partie…si ana hisi ki -chef-U -chef-U???????????
kwa mkusanyiko wa masherehe ya ki taifa/assembly ya state parties
3.kuna magari mingi huko kwa ku-ondoka kwa MAN-U prezzoe otelini kwenda kwa chungu cha hewa/air pot?/port?
kwani huko ni MAGARINI????????????????
4.THE AGUE/EGG DATE:presida man-u haz left his oteli let it be baloteli and he’z headed to the airport kwani ni ya baba yake???????????????????????????????
yes oh yes do ale/dual-e ni ya papa jkia
5.lawyer wa man-u ni S.K MA-CHARGE-YA.anapinga hizo charges zote…….

eeeeeeeeeeeee man u was charged in court
si charging inakuwaga kwa SOCKET?????????????????AU who ana charge ingi simu kwa court????????????????nikon

hiyo charger au hizi  charger zote zaitwa BALDEV charger(s)

moji

mojo
haya basi man- u was charged in court
-haya kuna a clause,a particular clause,yeah the claws za nebuchadnezzar,,,yeah a clause kwa katiba

yeah ata hii cat iko na claws,,,ni cat ya nani??????????????????????

ni cat za matiba

wanaitwa cat-iba,,,,,,,,,,,,,so kuna claws kwa cat-iba………………………………………………………………………………………………………………me

 

castlar

lars

larry
in mengineyo………………………..man-u attended iyo status conference in his capacity ya ki-private citizen/ki-binafsi
but he was not in private limited company???????????????????????????????????????????????????????alifuatwa na ma-hangers on wenye walihanga-ika na ma hang-over>???????????????????????????????wali hang??????????????????????????????????

GITHU MUI GUY ATAKA KUWA RAFIKI YA KOTI???????????????????????????????????
tena???????????????????????????
kwani ye ni kiraka???????
ki-raka???????????????????????????????????is he a patch?
dr.patch (ouli)anataka patch nini kwa koti?kila saa rafiki ya koti si atafute pen-pals????????????????????????
walikula ice cream??????????????
k.c.c ni ya ku make milk na si I.C.C ni kcc ya ice cream?????licks ice cream iceac

na mbona ms.omamo sio part of the defence???????????

 

HUMOURITA/GRACED

I OVERHEARD MR.STEVE HARVEY of the steve harvey show say last night how HE is so GRACED to meet a lady who was helped in her own way by his book act like a lady think like a man.and i loved his GRACED appreciation.AND he says its because of GOD’S GRACE that it was so.

STY STI
I have been most GRACED to have people in EUROPE,U.S.A. FOLLOW MY BLOG AND humorous articles complete with a surprise from the far east.i am most GRACED to have malaysians taking interest in this stuff.even a BEER HOLIC/BEER-SHEBA guy who runs his alcoholic blog found a place for himself in this stuff.and translated it into his native language.AND ALL THE goodwill from wordpress.com,,,,,,,,,,i am most GRACED to find myself with you.and i APPRECIATE ALL i have gained from this platform
at WORDPRESS,all this exposure is so invaluable and valuable.
all at the same time
BUT TALKING ABOUT GRACE……………………………………………BACK BAKES BASK

I’VE BEEN most GRACED na the BAKEry.hii association ni the one and only.ni mouthpiece,ni centre-piece,ni masterpiece.ni priceless.Ina deliver info. in one piece.as in vile ilivyoko.
KU BAKE IENDELEEKIOKO

BURDIZZOand asante mr kach/CATCH one yeah(american dialect)kwa kumsifu this work kwa this BLOGOJEVICH.THIS WORK ITAZIDI KU-PEPEA KA KIPEPEO YA JAGUAR.WACHA YA CHAMELEON!

IBABAS BIBES  BIBS
1.I AM who i am by the grace of GOD
2.i am what i am by the grace of GOD
3.GRACE is on you for something
4.THAT GRACE is going to produce sweatless victory.GRACE that has been bestowed haiko hapo kuwa fruitless and bila effect
5.THE GRACE in your life was intended to bring fruit and be effective
6.THE WILL of GOD is your PROSPERITY
7.WHEN you find GRACE your days of sweating are over.uki-sweat for anything you’ve not yet reached the GRACE
8.some-one is going to be affected by your GRACE

BABES
9.MAY YOUR GRACE AND PEACE BE MULTIPLIED
10.YOU MAY HAVE THE GRACE to do what you do and how to do it ,and exceptionally well……………….and some-one else has the GRACE to do what they do
11.there’s a GRACE on you,AND THE GRACE IS DOING WHAT IS IN YOU.
12.YOU CAN NOT TRY TO COPY STUFF THAT THE GRACE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DOING(To all those who think people are out to compete with them or show off or prove a point or whatever reason there may be under the sun…………..)you cannot try to copy stuff that the GRACE is responsible for doing.EMEN.
you are GRACED by GOD to be the best in what you do.TO THE GLORY OF GOD.WHO GIVES YOU SO MUCH MORE……….. LIKE THE SANDS ON THE SEASHORE.AND YOU ARE A CUT ABOVE THE REST.WHEN YOU ARE GRACED……………BY GOD.HA!WIVUS

WENYE WIVU ……..WATAKUWA TU………………………

BUT GOD’S PLANS AND THOUGHTS TOWARDS YOU OUT DEFEATS,OUTSHINES,OUTMANS THEM NIL BY MOUTH.IF GOD IS on your side……………………………………

check out JOSEPH???????????????????????????????????????????????

UTA KUWA GRACED  to the TOP.
13.CELEBRATE THE GRACE because it is the GRACE THAT BROUGHT ABOUT THIS SUCCESS.
14.ITS GREAT TO TOTALLY DEPEND ON GOD.ANGEL WOWS  BABY JESUS

MAY THE GRACE OF GOD BE WITH YOU NOW AND ALWAYS

GOOD GRACIOUS GRACE,AMAZING GRACE …………………………..TOKA HIGH ABOVE
INTRODUCING THE KALONZO SANDWICH

D.J MELON AMEANGUSHA HII RECIPEKALONZOSANDWICH

SANDS

WICH

WATS

KALONZOVICE STIVO

HUMOURMOB/SISIMUA LATHER

MUStapha sings salt but wapi anjelina jolly si she stars in the movie,SALT??????????????????

kwani ilishoot-iwa magadi??????????????????
haya MOOSE TOUGHER  wa mama katika sheria kwa raia runi/rooney/runinga/citi zain t.v…………wa-sisi-mua ladha.ya food.

KUNA U-PISHI….NA KUNA UGANGA.UGANGA WACHIA FAIZA WAGANGA
haya kesho kesho utaona hiiiiiiiiii pia competition  for the soaps marketlo

i’m a ka mei kind of sham-poo/is it a sham??????????????

or is it CAR-MAY SOAP/KAMAU SOAP HIYO HAPO

AM A KAMAU KIND OF WO?????????????????li  me mi

SISIMUA LATHER ,sisimua lather,C.C.MUA LATHER LEO,SISIMUA LATHER KESHO NA MILELE………….!

THE  sabuni compesssssssssss/COMPETITIONS

za kufua

za kuoga

za perfumeD

wataanza kuimba ki canary???????????????????????? c.c mua LATHER/LADHA TAMU YA HErbal soap smells chamomile ,sage/sau-sage/myrrh n eucalyptus

mbona watu  ha- waezi tumia izo soaps mingi za mexico on tv kila mara????????????????????????????????????????????????????izo ziko kwa opera????????????????hizo soaps day na night???????????????

si sabuni ni sabuni?????????????????????

tissue ndio sio tissue???????????????????????????????

ATA SOAP OPERA NI SABUNI.

ZABUNI NDIO soft.au tender kwa lugha ingine

HAYA miye wako soap-ia wanuna NIKI-KU-AGA  niki-say

SISI-MUA LATHER.oga

 

humourmob????????????PIC-CHAS

JAJA JAJA JAS JU OMAMO
HIYO jACK YA GARI YAITWA jack/omamo.
of course wanasemanga adam named everything but vitu kama jack ya gari havikuweko those days so haziku pewa majina

bin bint binymr binMR BIN

BIJ FOOD

MR BEANBEAN GANDA MRBEANS

MR BEAN

COLLINS IN JELAJELA JAIL

INJERANJERI NJERACOLLINS INJERA TOKA ETHIOPIAN KITCHEN

 

HUMOURMOB/MAMBO MSETO

HUYU ni watchman anachunga hii boma.sio boma hotel but boma boma.yuaitwa bernard chunga chunguza jichunga.mi nachunga boma.mkuu wa law na order na ulinda usalama kwa huii boma.
eti waniuliza maaswali?????????????????????
for wat on wat about what????!index nimiye watch

huyu ni anchor yuaitwa i-rene choge.akiripotia toka boma yake apo apo yaitwa BOMA-CHOGEWOW BUY MA HOSE HOMER GAL HOME

betty CHARLO GREENE NA BHANG. NI KU marry juana.ku marry na kujuana/marijuana.upendo ya charlo green na green weeds/bhangi??????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oooooooooooooooooooooo eti let the show BEGIN LET THE BBA SHOW BE GIN???????????????????????????????as in iachwe igeuke pombe???????????????????show iachwe igeuke pombe????????????????????????????????/
au gin ni???????????????//si alcoholic drink?????????????????????????????????????????????????made from grain??????????????????????????
his indexjin juhn junLET THE SHOW BE GIN

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo eti dust coat dustcoat kwani does it belong to to the dust???????????????????????for dust to wear au ?????????????????

 

HII NI umbrellaqorie/rogo mwavuli

so juzi ukasikia jamaa akisema jina ya orie rogo si jina eti ni sentence

acha!

na bado.~!hiyo gear yake ya kichwa of course ni head gear.

so iyo nayo????????????????

ni head dress au sky SCRAPER?????????????????????

KWELI SHE’S on top of the world

TIGHT ASS/NAIKUNI ND’O HUYU HAPA

bim booty butt buy