humourmob/ma humour!/na u-jeremy clarkson,ma ads,

eti masaibu ya ndugu jerry au jeremy clarkson

kuchongoa wahindi na choo!

AMLIVE query::::::::shood love have a limit???????????

tuta-kuwa gross na crass na trashy kama ndugu jerry beebeesee

yeah!hii love ya waindi yakuchoo-cha-nisha kila mahali wana choo- cha??gives my lovely horse the trots.

my lovely horse is for supplying my belovely weaves.

FOR MOUSSY HAIRSTYLES
FOR MOUSSY HAIRSTYLES AU SHAGGY WEAVE KA ZA SEBES.
BONESTRAIGHT
FOR THA BONE STRAIGHT HAIR,WEAVE,PIECE?????????WHATEVER HIYO NYORORO TAIL

si wape waindi gift ya lusaka,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,noooo……………………………loo-sucker

zile lorry za ku grab trash?????????????

kila msee a-donate ie- waindi a loo-sucker

ata lorry loo sucker aki-stopishwa na traffic,,,,,,,amekazwa amebanwa style ya we afande bana acha niende zangu bana afande nimebanwa
ata lorry loo sucker aki-stopishwa na traffic,,,,,,,amekazwa amebanwa style ya we afande bana acha niende zangu bana afande nimebanwa

ya ku-deal na escapades zao za u-choo-chezi.kila mahala eti n’choo,choo

never seen such love ya toil-etting/toiling & letting go……………………..go-go-ta(colombio)??????mbio mbio!!!!!!!!!!!!NAKU MIXOLOJIA KA MIXTIANA RONAL-DUH!!!!!!

SI THEY JUST love toilet-ries?????????????  si wapende tu ku use choo????????  sio ku choo -mea picha wasee …

SILLY JIBU::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::yu cant hide love.mi  kaa mu-hindi have absolutely no limits.

leonard wa mambo na ungwana sez………………………………we hindi stop hii upendo wa movementi za boweli.eka limitations

kahindi:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::the sky is the limit

nita choo cha hadi kwa sky.we angusha air fresha!

hadi kwa tenth floor! ya trash.ni 10th floor of trash  tuta trash hadi sky high hujaona ku choo cha…………!

AMLIVE QUERY

ETI wapi ndio women pinch da bride on her big day for good luck??????????????

eti egypt

nalibaki na-wonder…………………………..

is egypt a body part????????????????

i thought ni mwilini?????????

MA ADS MATANGAZO

oooooooooo eti nice n lovely,nice and lovely hair food

ukweli tuulize nywele ina tumbo ndio ikule?????????????????

kumbe nywele inasikia njaa?na hair drink nazo? si ukila wanywa pia????
kumbe nywele inasikia njaa?na hair drink nazo?
si ukila wanywa pia????
hey miye ni duck.yvone duck and I AM DUCK AND LOVELY
hey miye ni duck.yvone duck
and I AM DUCK AND LOVELY.

kwani ye pia anatangazo vya nywele????????

hapa pia kuna mananasi

mimi mananasi am nas i and lovely avocado ni fruit ya nywele olive ni oil ya nywele na farasi ni nywele haswa
mimi mananasi
am nas i and lovely
avocado ni fruit ya nywele
olive ni oil ya nywele
na farasi ni nywele haswa
waindi best known for nywele mob na KU-CHOO-CHA mob. hata NYWELE YAO ISIPEWE HAIR FOOD!
waindi best known for nywele mob na KU-CHOO-CHA mob.
hata NYWELE YAO ISIPEWE HAIR FOOD!

Watumizi wa izi hair additions……ji ask…………iyo  NYWELE IMEPITIA HITAJI YA USALAMA WA KI EUROPEAN UNION???????????? au safety controls??

KUNA bidhaa kumi za kenyan ka BAN-WA/ na ku BAN-IWA kwa E.U……na ….E.U

na E.U………..yes???????. NI FACT.vitu vya ki horticulture hivi

OF COS nataka kusema humourmob imeidhinishwa kwa E.U…….na wa E.U………………….

TUKO  kwa viwango vya ku meet ma standards zao.za juu!

hapa  sio kwa nye nye nye nye nye. na domo domo na IN-FAKE-RITY.infakerity is your typical kenyan comedian.leo ni comedia na kesho ni HUSTLER. au MAREHEMU.ku climb kisha ku fall kama HUMPTY DUMPTY with no one ku put HUMPTY DUMPTY together again. THA MKENYA INFAKERITY.

HAPA TUKO TOP-GEAR.

GEAR UP FOR MOREEEEEEEE

HUKU MA AFROO HIO NDIO TOP GEAR NA HAI SACK-IWI ANY TYME SOON INABAMBA HEADY.si ma footballer wai-use ku score ma header????
HUKU MA AFROO
HIO NDIO TOP GEAR
NA HAI SACK-IWI ANY TYME SOON
INABAMBA HEADY.si ma footballer wai-use ku score ma header???

HUMOURMOB/alarm clock,margarine,methali

nita grab some more
humour-mob twisted…….. nita grab some more

eti waswahili walisema eti mbiu ya mgambo ikilia eti kuna jambo????????????YEAH????????

YES.KWELI

hawa wote twa-wa-ita gambladesh/ma gambler
hawa wote twa-wa-ita gambladesh/ma gambler

ndio maana nasema mbiu ya mgambo ikiliaaaaaa,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ni masaa ya kwenda GAMBLING (ni ya gamblers iyo mbiu).

MBIU ya mgambo ikilia…………….ni kwa casino.

na ni ya kuashiria masaa ya magambo/gambling!

mimi ni casino.hamna eno ya tumbo.nadeaal na sabuni ya roho.uliza ERICO URAFIKI PESA eeeh?
mimi ni cas-ino.hamna eno ya tumbo.nadeaal na sabuni ya roho.uliza ERICO URAFIKI PESA eeeh?HAPA NDIPO.kwa mbiu ya mgambo

ata kuna mbiu ingineeeeeeeeee…………NI MBIU/YU? koinange.ikilia…………….ni ya masaa ya JKL.

comica
comica

huyu bwana lala sio sleepy.anaitwa kinywa/kinyua

joe jozef kinyua/kinywa

alarm clock ni kiamsha kinywa/kinyua
MIYE NI ALARM CLOCK/AMA KIAMSHA KINYWA/KINYUA……………..nita-ku-moooooordeeerrrr
joe
SLEEPY MSEE HUYU.BA LALA.BUDA EXPERT WA KU LALA. LALA-BY NAYO??????????????????? YA MTOTO MCHANGA????????????????????

na to my far right(vile kiguta ana introduce panel),tuna alarm………………………no ,tuna kiamsha kinywa aka alarm clock ya ku do job ya kuamsha kinyua/wa

na hapo alarm no kiamsha kinywa ana do job yake

ya kuamsha kinywa/JOZEF KINYUA/WA!

break fast ni ya waenda kasi kama bolt.

FAST!

YA WANA-UME
YA WANA-UME
HUYU AKO MOMBASANI AU KWA HAMMOCK.NI MOCK EXAM YA USINGIZI
HUYU AKO MOMBASANI AU KWA HAMMOCK.NI MOCK EXAM YA USINGIZI

alarm clock ni kiamsha kinywa/kinyua

bookworm aka minyoo ya vitabu
 HAPA KWA CENTRE FOLD PIA TUNA bookworm aka minyoo ya vitabu
LEO TUNAOGEREEREA THIZZZZZZZZZZZZ
LEO TUNAOGEREEREA THIZZZZZZZZZZZZ
NAWASALIMU NYOTE GOOD MORNING??
NAWASALIMU NYOTE GOOD MORNING??

mlipuko

artur mar-gar-yan/sar ghasia-n?????

JINA NGUUUUUUUUUMUUUUU mpaka badala ya artur margaryam/au yan/yarn??????

wengine wanairahisisha kama artur margarine

ni juu ya blueband ndio ikafanya  ni rahisi kwa mkenya kuigeuza hiyo name to this ya blueband……

artur margarine.

mimi kama artur mar-gar- yam si wa armenia......
mimi kama artur mar-gar- yam si wa armenia……mi ni MSHAMBA TOKA SMART FARM!

hata katoi kajinga kanaulizwa we bluband inatengenezwa wapi??????????????????

eti anasema ee…..ile margarine????????

si inatengenezwa magarini!

MAGARINI??????????????

eeeeeee pwani??????

kwa kambi…ya MAGARINI???????

twisted!
twisted! na U-CHO-CHEZI mob……
big brother ndani ya humourmob.
big brother ndani ya humourmob.

next time chocha watu.IN UCHOCHEZY

badala ya big brother sema kaka mega.

hivi how????????????????????

BIG NI MEGA

BROTHER NI KAKA

CHEMSHA MTU BONGO sema huyu ni kakamega wetu

akiuliza how?????????????????sio town kwani????????????????

sema i simply mean ni ndugu mkubwa wetu ama BIG BRO!

mi ni big we ni wa ligi dogo nani kaka-mega????
mi ni big
we ni wa ligi dogo
nani kaka-mega????
KATOI KAJINGA SI KANAISHI HUKU
KATOI KAJINGA SI KANAISHI HUKU

SI KATOI KAJINGA KANAULIZWA:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

GOVERNOR ken lusaka ni wa wapi,,,,ana govern wapi????????????????????????????

katoi jinga:::::::::::::::::::::::::LUSAKA ROAD!

LUSKA RD network
LUSKA RD network

wachawi kambi-ni

acha tuendelee na visanga vya wachawi kwa kambi ya ………… somewhere in NAIROBI

1.UNaamka asubuhi unakuta wame angusha barrier ya fence wanadhani itawapa access kuingia kwa hiyo nyumba wanaimezea mate na wivu mkuu wa shetani

like the failures they are…………………………………………………………..walisha fail zamani sana kuingia humo na wanaharibu nguvu zao bure badala warudi ku-roga-roga ushago kwao?????????HA!

wanagawanga kazi into ki-familia………………………………………………………….wakubwa wanaroga usiku masaa za shetani(ZILE EMMANUEL ENI WA NIGERIA ALISEMA WANAFANYANGA KAZI ZAO ZA SHETANI)

na watoto wanarusha mchana vitu kwa roof,wana irrigate,,wana follow watu,,,wanatumwa kwa ma dust bin za watu……hata wanageuzwa na ma-mbinu into mahewa za kuingia kwa nyumba yako bila due process…………………

BEHOLD HE THAT KEEPETH ISRAEL SHALL NEITHER SLUMBER NOR SLEEP

SILAHA!
SILAHA!

UZURI NI KUWA MUNGU AKO NA ULINZI SHUPAVU KWA WATU WAKE so wachawi hawana bahati hapo…………….

wanaamka asubuhi na kupuliza ma-hewa zao za SORCERY wana hope tu sana iku suffocate ama ikugeuze kama wao lakini wapi????????????????????????????

WAKRISTO SI TUKO NA RUBBERSTAMP YA MUNGU NA MABAYA INATUONDOKEA KAMA……………………………

VILE MALAIKA WA PASSOVER ALI PASS OVER HOME ZA ISRAELI NA AKA MEZESHA WA MISRI?????????????????

HIVO NDIVO SORCERY YAO INAPITIA IKIENDA MBALI SANA NA WATU WA GOD

MUNGU ALISHAJIPANGA ZAMANI

GOD IS IN CHARGE OF THE VAST AND TO OTHERS…………SCARY SPIRITUAL WORLD………………….WHERE VITA VINAPIGANWA DHIDI YA THE SPIRITUAL HOSTS OF WICKEDNESS IN THE HIGH PLACES

UKIENDA DUKANI WAKO NYUMA YAKO

SAA INGINE WANASIMAMA KWA NJIA UKIENDA OUT NDIO ANGALAU UKIRUDI WAKUROGEKO LEO TU IFANYEKO KAZI??????????

SI WANALAPWA NA MALAPWA MINGI SANA???????????????????????????

WANA KAANGA KAMA SCARECROWS……………………………………..

WATOTO wanapewa maji ili wamwage au ni sprinkle kwa barabara ili ukirudi toka ma-nje wanahope tu against hope that mashetani na sorcery zitakubamba………………………………….

wanaambulia patupu

wazazi pia wako kazi wanatwanga ma ukuta na wanarusha vitu mabatini wakitaraji itawafanyia kazi???????????

hadi watoto wao wako witchkids kwa kazi kwa ma bara bara na u-tiriki zao ndio wanatisha nazo wakaazi na kuwafunga watoto wa wenyewe waliopita mitihani wasiendelee na masomo……………….

may be ndio wa-wa recruit kwa shule yao ya witchad academy ya obango kwa maji

wachawi wa kambini kwa maji.na sorcery zao. wanasema eti ni u-tiriki like baba yao shetani...........wanafail-ingi tu milele yote na milele
wachawi wa kambini kwa maji.na sorcery zao.
wanasema eti ni u-tiriki
like baba yao shetani………..wanafail-ingi tu milele yote na milele
kuka
hapo huyo ni sorcerer wa kambi-ni eti anapika kichwa ya mbuzi apo kwa moto ……………………………………. watapikika wenyewe style ya akaranga.na sorcery yao watabeba wenyewe
wachawimaji
hapo ako kazini juu ya mabati za nyumba ya watu usiku wa ma-nane…………………………………..
masura
scare crow.sura ya wivu,failure,backwardness,poverty,uganga,ufukara wa akili..and all the ma-roho machafu that dwell in such areas. hii ndio face ya ma………………………

hiyo hapo ni sura yao ya kazi. the sorcerers wa kambi.na u-sorcery wao na u-tiriki wao huo.

watakula huo na  hasara juu.

na wakiomba wanatwanga ukuta (ZAIDI YA SONKO)NA WANA KANYAGA CHINI NA WANATWANGA KILA KITU  mabati milango wanabeba vijiti ……………are they stick insects???????????????NA INAGEUKA IN A NANOSECOND CHOREO-GRAPHY YA KI-SHETANI.

saa hiyo mama wa mboga alishaenda sokoni mbali amerudi na the dumb one ako tu anaangalia nyumba yako na wamewacha TV kwa nyumba

ata unasikianga vitu strange eti zinatokea huko  kwao kama chakula kuanguka pekee yake toka mekoni hadi sakafuni

NAKUAMBIA THEY’RE FLOORED! NA vile wa-l………..wanapenda mradho….???????????

cheko
hata chakula inaogopa kwenda tumboni  mwao juu ni k rogue-ish /roga roga humo ndani
nyanya
snail ni yetu toka zamani .ni delicacy sio paraphernalia ya ……………………………???????????????

*imagine wanatuma ko snail kwako alafu unakuta master wao ameamka asubuhi anaangalia tu mlango yako anangojea kuona kama ilifanya kazi………………………………………………..

kumbe………………………………………..ulishaimaliza na chumvi kitambo  zinasalt-iwa tu ka bibi ya lot na pap………l mara that! unamngoja tu ajipakulie aikule ka chinese delicacy.

HUMOURMOB/ungwana

so unacheki-ko ma international news then unaona like this………………………

protests at black U.S.student violent arrest

ki-vita usiuwe fergie zone

hivi wataka ungwana????????????????

hivi ni ku maanisha wanataka wakamataji wa ki tanzania wangwana mpaka wanasema

tafadharini saana tafadhari mwanafunzi wa rangi twaomba co-peresheni yako kwa hisani yako……………………..

ndiposa tunasema USHIKWAPO……………………………………………………….SHIKAMANA!

COMEDIA. cirque du soleil
COMEDIA.
cirque du soleil

humourmob/it’s a first

celebrating a view toka palestinian territories.nakuambia t’tapeleka fine humour worldwide.lupita amefanya part yake.its my turn to…………………..?????
kuipeleka humourmob mbali-er/mbali mbali…………….hadi space!(humourmob galaxy)!

proudly proclaimimg from tha roof tops that i have a viewer toka PALESTINE.

nakuambia tuna export the finest out there.

nakuambia tuna aim-ia ligi sooooooooooo

tuna na tuta tamba kwa style ya juu juu juu zaidi…………………………..

huyu ndio shetani mwitu?? the tasmanian devil??
huyu ndio shetani mwitu??
THE TASMANIAN DEVIL?
 yeah!the devil is in the details.that tail!hair!
ujuaji
hapa kwa HUMOURMOB……….tunajijua vizuri.! we mean laughter ni serious buzy ness.sio joke! joke uoneeeeeeee

paleste bwana maharagwe

tutatamba way way up like…………………………………………………..westlands eiyawa! talkota

je uko funny-er???????????GET NEAR(me)OR DIE TRYING!HA! HA!
je uko funny-er???????????GET NEAR(me)OR DIE TRYING!HA!
HA!

amka harticia

YAANI TUTAFIKAKO PLACE UKISEMA HUMOURMOB…………………………………………………………..!

RATINGS NI AINA YA NAMNA HII…………………………………………………………………………………

KISHA OCTOPIZZO ALISEMAKO KAMA MA T.V ZIME ZIMWA KO NA WANGU C?

KUWA CREATIVE TU SANA……………………………………….SI LAZIMA T.V ndio uwe creative au sio???????? EMEN????????????????????????

BAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!

I HEREBY PROCLAIM KUPE-REKA HUMOURMOB KWA THA GREAT WALL OF CHINA………………………………….

ILI WA NDUGU ZETU WALIO IN SPACE,……………………………………..YEAH! KWA MOON……………………………….

WAWEZE KUONA,KU-SOMA NA KU-ENJOY HUMOURMOB TOKA CHINI KWENDA JUU……………….

MPAKA ANOTHER PLANET.

MOON-ISHI NASA...L ROCKET

AMERICANNAH JOKE ABOUT THA ROCKET

hosty
eeeer come this way mr trump .we wanna launch dis rocket to space…………. launcher………………….

@ NASA here we have our guest the donald………………………………..pls come thiz way donaldo trump…………..

AND MZEE DONALD TELLS THE ROCKET…………………………………..

HEY rocky...yu are fired
“HEY rocky/rocket….you are fired…..”

ROCKY

ROCKET YOU ARE FIRED!

brandy
coz am addicted to humour! na humourmob!its more than humour! ni brandy!
firita
he sure does keep his FIRE ARMS CROSSED. THE ARMS N NOT THE WEAPONS………………………..DUH?????

utachomwa fikiri

yeah trump the rocket is fired already mr. fire-man

have a seat and ave some rocket salad

saladi ooooooooooooooo saladi o o o  hii ni rocket salad it's not rocket science to eat it.
saladi ooooooooooooooo
saladi o o o
hii ni rocket salad
it’s not rocket science to eat it.

hapa kwa ma humour mob tume graduate toka WITS UNI.WITS UNIVERSITY AU UNI OF WITS

EMEN?????????????????????

KUNA WITS MINGI SANA JIKONI

WAITA MASOMO YA JUU

MIMI NI AWITI/AWITTY TOKA WITS UNI.NIKO NA WIT MOB SANA.................
MIMI NI AWITI/AWITTY TOKA WITS UNI.NIKO NA WIT MOB SANA……………..

WITTERAND WITO UNANIPATA WITTY